Match Reports - February 16, 2013

The 1st XI need six points from their remaining six matches after a 3-2 win at Bournemouth maintained their 13-point lead at the top of Hampshire/Surrey 1; the Ladies lingering hopes of promotion were almost ended with a 2-1 loss at Croydon,a result which leaves us in third in Surrey 2; the 2nd XI drew 2-2 with Surbiton IVa but the 3rd XI thrashed bottom side Surrey Spartans 5-0


Bournemouth 2-3 1st XI

Still high on last week’s victorious brawl against the Barnes crew massive, an undefeated OCs side made the arduous one and a half hour trip down to sunny Bournemouth. Yet the ever-wary Coach Boucher had made it clear early on that this was not going to be a walk on the beach. The absence of Cato’s O’Driscoll-like consistency and Justin’s Bieber-like face meant a heavy depleted defence - an issue compounded by the team’s decision to drop Sam ‘Regaine’ Carne following a string of dismal performances. Of added concern was Bournemouth’s form after their 9-0 conquest over Yately. As their match report had noted: ‘Next week a rampant Old Cranleighans side visit Chapel Gate, but will no doubt be wary of the home side after their dominant display this week’.

After patching together the gaps of an incident-filled Saturday night, the Thames Ditton troops strode out with confidence onto the astroturf battlefield. But as the balls began to be passed around, it became apparent that the pitch was no more than recycled carpet. The sight immediately began to make Cookie’s stomach churn as memories of his late-night decoration of Stu’s carpeted stairs came flooding back. Undeterred, the team pressed on with a fiery warm up - Rippers infamous reverse shot lobbing the fence to pick out poorly positioned Vauxhall Zafira (hastily re-parked by the owner).

This intensity continued into the first half as both sides struggled to retain possession early on. The open play soon gave Bournemouth’s speedy attack a chance to carve through the visitor’s weakened defence to take the first goal. Unused to conceding so easily, the OCs stepped up a few gears with Stu ‘Giggs’ Ripley and Chris ‘Scholes’ Wisey beginning to take dictate the midfield. These efforts reaped rewards in the form of short corners, the second of which Scholesy slotted home following an efficient ‘German routine’ that has become the fans’ favourite. Bournemouth finished the half with a number threatening counter attacks, including a open-goal miss that would have embarrassed even Regaine Carne, leaving the OCs relieved to end a poor first half performance at 1-1.

A typically Mourinho-esque talk from Coach Boucher at the break lead to a more focused and clinical OC side emerging for the second half. An initial yellow for the Bournemouth skipper after cynically breaking up the play (admiringly contested despite his obvious guilt) seemed to provide the visitors with a window of opportunity to pile on the goals. However, another disastrous episode of muddled defending gifted a youthful Bournemouth striker a chance to regain the lead for his team, which he coolly took. It was only until a second yellow against Bournemouth that OCs could begin to capitalize. With Nick ‘Gerrard’ Ripley left injured on the sidelines, George ‘Viduka’ Cover suddenly displayed an extraordinary feat of agility. Using the full force of his muscle, he flung the ball into the bottom corner forcing a last ditch save from the postman, leaving Giggsy on hand to find the backboard. The taste of blood now on their lips, a third short corner was netted by a Harman reserve-stick wonder-goal deflection special (he emailed me to make sure I wrote that). With the OCs now 3-2 up and the last few minutes of the game ticking away, there was no way back for the home side. Once again, the Blues & Oranges showed a characteristically gritty performance to seal an important three points and a result that proves why they remain odds-on favourites for promotion.

Epilogue 
With post-game beers flowing and Shepherds Pie being dished out left, right and centre, mood was high in the Chapel Gate Clubhouse. Rippers treated himself to a seventh ciggy of the afternoon while Jay openly volunteered to wear the posh-twat jacket that he had found in a charity shop in celebration of scoring the winner. After enjoying the tales of the three wise men’s’ antics at the Bournemouth festival, Ceige and Pagey decided to make an early exit to return to Surrey in time for their evening commitments. It was then that disaster struck. In the process of skillfully fitting Danny’s goalie kit into the back of his Polo whilst slamming the boot shut, Pagey managed to also lock his keys inside the car. Welcomed back into the clubhouse to a round of applause, the two players were still sitting waiting for the AA an hour and a half later. Ciege, now a jug of lager deep and his usual patience wavering, aptly summed up the mood as the car pulled out of Chapel Gate: ‘Next week, Pagey, I’m driving’.


Croydon 2-1 Ladies XI



2nd XI 2-2 Surbiton IVa



3rd XI 5-0 Surrey Spartans


A good win against a poor Spartans side. Four-nil up at half time courtesy of a solo display from Charlie who bagged all from different angles and with a complete skill set. A fit Charlie would give the 1st XI a 20 goal head start each season. Only one more was added in the second half with an inspired performance from the Spartans keeper and some profligate finishing.

OC baselayers now on sale

Available in blue and white

We have recently launched some navy blue OC baselayers to the Colts with Old Cranleighan written down the arm, which look really smart.

We now have these available for senior teams in both navy blue and white.

The cost is £30 but if we get enough interest we may be able to drive the cost down.

So if you are interested please email Helen Hawes your size at helen.hawes@btinternet.com and she can have them available from next weekend.

ADULTS	To Fit Chest - size (inches)
Small	38 - 40
Medium	40 - 42
Large	42 - 44
X-Large	44 - 46
XX-Large	46 - 48

Match Reports - February 9, 2013

Without wishing to tempt fate, the 1st XI beat second-placed Barnes 5-1 to open up a 13-point gap at the top of Surrey/Hants 1 to make them odds-on favourites for promotion with seven matches left. The Ladies kept up their promotion push with a 4-0 win over London Eds which kept them in the hunt in third as the top two teams drew. The 2nd XI drew 2-2 at Wanderers and the 3rd XI were thumped 0-5 at Woking. The Barnstormers entertained the 50+ patrons who had turned up for lunch by beating a grumpy East Grinstead 3-2

The fifth goal rounds off the win and Cookie prepares to pounce

1st XI 5-1 Barnes
Click here for match photos

This weekend saw the top two teams in the league come together for the most anticipated game of the season. For four weeks the OCs had been training with only this game in mind and were thus keen, if only for the sake of his wife and children, to release coach Gary from the monomaniacal trance under which he had been operating since Christmas. Such was Gary’s all-consuming determination to win this game that a few players were forced from their beds at 9am to practice short corners, very nearly causing one member to miss Saturday Kitchen, a crucial part of his pre-match routine. However, as those that were there to witness the clash will know, the coach was more than vindicated.

This fixture was pretty fiery in the first half of the season and after two green cards were shown by one of the umpires inside five minutes, it looked likely that on-pitch relations were going to be just as testy this time round. However, in an act of rare sportsmanship and in an effort to save the game from descending into baseless violence, a Barnes defender deposited the ball into his own net to gift the OCs an early 1-0 lead. Nice chaps, that Barnes lot. That own goal aside, the first half was largely bereft of opportunities for the OCs. If we were not guilty of failing to convert our chances, we perhaps were guilty of failing to make our half chances whole and thus as many times as we penetrated the ‘D’, few clear-cut chances presented themselves. A typically fizzing Nick Ripley straight strike from our only corner of the half forced the opposition keeper to make a sharp save, but that was our closest effort.

Modesty ...

Similarly, Barnes struggled to produce anything of note as they persisted to aimlessly Hail Mary the majority of the ball they got straight down Justin’s throat. Lucky to get away with just a yellow after an outrageous and cynical pick above his head in last week’s game, Justin would have been grateful for the practice and he ably demonstrated that last week’s moment of madness was well behind him. Again, a couple of short corners were the best of Barnes’ chances in the first half, forcing Dan to dive to his right with (a)typical panache. It should be mentioned that Captain Dan came into this match with a fractured big toe and is thus a very brave boy indeed. I’m sure he would like me to thank the OC defence on his behalf for keeping the ball away from said toe for most of the game. Their effort at short corners was nothing short of Herculean and with a depleted defence for Bournemouth next week, a similar performance will be required from those who come in to cover.

With the score at 1-0 at half time, the game was very much in the balance and if there was a time for the OCs to prove that their shaky second half performances were something of the past, it was now. Prove it we did. The second goal was arguably the best we’ve scored all season and was a true team effort. Pressed deep in our half, the defence managed to transfer the ball to Barnes’ weakly fortified left flank and it could not have taken much longer than 5 seconds for ball to hit backboard after lovely work from Chris Wizzer Wiseman and Chris Ciege Gray left Jay Harman with another tap-in at the far post. All game the OCs broke with an efficiency, speed and ruthlessness that the slow and exposed Barnes defence were woefully ill-equipped to deal with.

The next three goals were all the result of a break, either directly or indirectly, with Wizzer finishing a perfectly orchestrated ‘German’, and Nick and man of the match Will Page both coolly putting the ball away when they found space in the D. Whilst Barnes managed to pull one back through a neat reverse stick finish to make it 2-1, they had no answer to the Blitzkrieging attack nor the steely-eyed resolve of the defence.

Indeed, the extent of Barnes’ frustration could be clearly heard on the opposition bench. The shouting from the coach, which earned him a caution from the umpire, was symptomatic of a man increasingly confronted with the realisation that he had tactically catastrof***ed his team from the outset. Over-committed up front and lacking a willingness to try different options from the back, all the OCs had to do was sit patiently until opportunity came and we eventually won at a canter. Special mention should go to the excellent support that the team received from fellow members of the club. It is always tremendously appreciated when a crowd comes to support and it gave us a huge lift to hear the old boys in such fine voice. I’m told they were handing out port to the rest of the crowd and that no doubt contributed significantly to the atmosphere at pitch side.

Finally, it would be remiss of me to not at least mention the events of the après-ski. While Justin retreated to his natural habitat on the edgiest edge of Shoreditch, not far from where Frank had recently had his hair cut, the remainder of our motley crew were treated to an evening which included complimentary jaeger, an 18th birthday party, a calamitous piggy-back ride, an even more calamitous performance of the “worm”, Cookie doing what Cookie does best, another failed attempt at the ‘slice of bread challenge’ and an eventual climax on what can only be described as the best kitchen floor in the world. Too much detail would render the report unpublishable but come morning carriages, one of us was icing a turned-ankle, one of us was sewing up a pair of jeans, one of us was making a trip to A&E and one more looked set to join, pending the result of an act of wildly misplaced “audacity”.

A great day for the club and one step further in our quest for promotion. Go on the OCs!!!

Ladies 4-0 London Edwardians
After the disappointing defeat last week, the Ladies bounced back impressively against a side unbeaten in three games and who had beaten us before Christmas. It was actually one of our easiest games for some time and our most comprehensive win in almost two-and-a-half years.  The visitors proved feisty in the early exchanges but two goals in either half saw them off.  With the top two teams drawing, the result meant we remaining third but only three points off the leaders who we entertain at TD in three weeks' time.

Wanderers III 2-2 2nd XI

Woking 5-0 3rd XI
Well, there is not a lot to say about the game, a true reflection of our season. It was going to be a tough ask playing with 10 men against the team that are top of the league. We showed guts and determination, unfortunately we were beaten by a better side on the day. Woking made their 13 men count. Despite the 5-0 loss we can take a lot from the team spirit and character shown.  Woking summarised the game by saying "the scoreline flattered us" We certainly did not deserve to go 5-0 down.

Thanks to Woking for an enjoyable game of hockey, played it the right spirit by all but one of their young players, who really does need to grow up. Let's take the team spirit and determination into the next few games. Hopefully we will have the resources to go with that. Please dig deep for the next few weeks. As they say mates before dates! Anyone with wives please buy them very generous Valentines gifts and hope to get a few pink tickets in return.

Barnstormers 3-2 East Grinstead

The prospect of a veterans lunch attracted a high-quality squad to TD for the early game, and that was just as well as we needed to be at our best to complete the double over an East Grinstead side containing a number of players who seem to gain little pleasure from actually playing hockey but are world-class whingers. Even their own umpire tired of the incessant whining and carded one of his own shortly before the end. 

It was shame at in between moans and complaints it was a cracking end-to-end game. Gav Adair opened the scoring from at least six inches out and later scored the winner which triggered a barrage of gesticulating and remonstrations with strongly put claims an OC had kicked the ball shortly before the goal.  The OCs looked positively angelic, the umpires consulted and agreed they had seen nothing and 3-1 it was.  Hours later Howie, his tongue loosened by a few beers, admitted it may have kind of slightly made a bit of contact with his foot. Possibly.   East Grinstead pulled one back four minutes from the end setting up a combative final few minutes.  The teams headed inside, the OCs for lunch, East Grinstead probably to bellyache about the beer, the teas, David Cameron and life in general.

Match Reports - February 2, 2013

The 1st XI came away from a hard away trip to Havant with a 3-1 win to maintain their ten-point lead in Surrey/Hants 1 but the Ladies lost to second-place OKs 1-2 to leave them five points off the pace in Surrey 2. The 2nd XI thumped bottom-placed NPL Badgers 5-1, the 3rd XI drew 2-2 with Sunbury and Walton while the Barnstormers drew 3-3 at Basingstoke but the Hamstrings went down 1-2 to Indian Gymkhana 

Havant 1-3 1st XI

Let me start by pointing out that OCs continued their fine form by picking up three points down at a chilly and windswept south coast. Both sides had squads down to the bare bones but there was always the thought that OCs had a bit more strength than Havant and this proved to be the case. Somewhat bizarrely the game also produced two yellow and half a dozen green cards despite being probably the best-natured game that the OCs have played in this season.

In the first half the OCs produced glimpses of some very fine hockey. Some of the passing, first touches and movement off the ball were of the highest quality and proved too much for Havant. The first goal came from a transfer across the back before Chris Gray penetrated the left flank and a couple of slick passes later the ball was in the back of the Havant net. With the OC tails up the second followed soon after and it appeared that it could turn into a rout.

However, OCs were not fully capitalising on the good positions they were getting into and several trips into the opposition’s 25 were wasted by a lack of care and poor first touches. Havant then managed to capitalise on a lapse in OC concentration as one of their players ghosted in to the top of the D unmarked and slotted into the bottom corner. Sensing a bit of a momentum shift they pushed forward and only a last-gasp line clearance prevented them from getting an equaliser.

This provided a needed wake-up call and OCs began to get a stranglehold back on the match. This eventually resulted in the third goal going in which effectively killed off the game. The goals came from the Chrises Valentine and Wiseman and George Cover, who was returning to his old stomping ground for the first time.

As Havant were unable to penetrate the OC defence along the ground they resorted to some Guernica tactics. Aerial bombs rained down on the OC defence and most were dealt with easily although a frankly comedic clash between CB and Justin lead to a rare Havant attack which the covering defenders managed to thwart. Another aerial had more drastic consequences after Justin made a crucial trap to prevent the ball reaching the Havant front man. However, the umpire deemed the ball to have been played above shoulder height and produced a yellow card.

Rather than pass my own judgment on the decision, with a National League game on after our game, many of the Guildford 1st XI players were watching and their captain had this to say about the yellow; “It looked a very harsh decision. The lad’s just watched it all the way coming over his shoulder and made an unbelievable pick on the reverse as it dropped to about elbow height. For him to then be binned seems like an odd way to reward a piece of genius such as that”. Insult was added to injustice when the umpire informed skipper Dan after 5 minutes that he had not started the clock on the sin bin as Justin was standing in the wrong place and was actually required to be in the bottom left hand corner approximately 33.76 inches away from the corner flag at a bearing of 276 degrees.

Thankfully the OC defence remained relatively untroubled during the prolonged sin bin and in truth the game rather fizzled out as both sides seemed fairly content with the scoreline. Havant then found themselves down to 10 men after the sin binning of their nine-and-a-half stone striker for a body-check, which they felt pretty hard done by. Notable mention should be made of Chris Gray who missed a golden opportunity with the goal at his mercy, to close the gap on Jay Harman in the leading scorer stakes. Jay was sadly unavailable this week due to a lads trip to go and see Strictly Come Dancing – The Live Show. However he did have this to say on hearing the result: “I’m glad the boys were able to get the job done without me. Watching Strictly has given me some inspiration to take into the warm up routines so I’m really looking forward to showing the boys at training on Wednesday.”

Next week sees the top of the table clash with Barnes at Thames Ditton in what promises to be a cracking game. Do come down if you can make it to show your support – 14.30 start. Come on the OCs!  JLT


Old Kingstonians 2-1 Ladies XI

We travelled to second-placed Old Kingstonians,  one point behind them and two off the leaders, for a game which was a must win for both sides.  Sadly we chose the occasion to play our worst half of the season, going into the break two down, and although we grabbed one back midway through a more even second half we could have no complaints about the result.


2nd XI 5-1 NPL Badgers

No report as the team contains nobody with a computer.


3rd XI 2-2 Sunbury & Weybridge Hawks

Bents promises something ...



Basingstoke 3-3 Barnstormers

Cracker.

Hamstrings 1-2 Indian Gymkhana