Match Reports - February 16, 2013

The 1st XI need six points from their remaining six matches after a 3-2 win at Bournemouth maintained their 13-point lead at the top of Hampshire/Surrey 1; the Ladies lingering hopes of promotion were almost ended with a 2-1 loss at Croydon,a result which leaves us in third in Surrey 2; the 2nd XI drew 2-2 with Surbiton IVa but the 3rd XI thrashed bottom side Surrey Spartans 5-0


Bournemouth 2-3 1st XI

Still high on last week’s victorious brawl against the Barnes crew massive, an undefeated OCs side made the arduous one and a half hour trip down to sunny Bournemouth. Yet the ever-wary Coach Boucher had made it clear early on that this was not going to be a walk on the beach. The absence of Cato’s O’Driscoll-like consistency and Justin’s Bieber-like face meant a heavy depleted defence - an issue compounded by the team’s decision to drop Sam ‘Regaine’ Carne following a string of dismal performances. Of added concern was Bournemouth’s form after their 9-0 conquest over Yately. As their match report had noted: ‘Next week a rampant Old Cranleighans side visit Chapel Gate, but will no doubt be wary of the home side after their dominant display this week’.

After patching together the gaps of an incident-filled Saturday night, the Thames Ditton troops strode out with confidence onto the astroturf battlefield. But as the balls began to be passed around, it became apparent that the pitch was no more than recycled carpet. The sight immediately began to make Cookie’s stomach churn as memories of his late-night decoration of Stu’s carpeted stairs came flooding back. Undeterred, the team pressed on with a fiery warm up - Rippers infamous reverse shot lobbing the fence to pick out poorly positioned Vauxhall Zafira (hastily re-parked by the owner).

This intensity continued into the first half as both sides struggled to retain possession early on. The open play soon gave Bournemouth’s speedy attack a chance to carve through the visitor’s weakened defence to take the first goal. Unused to conceding so easily, the OCs stepped up a few gears with Stu ‘Giggs’ Ripley and Chris ‘Scholes’ Wisey beginning to take dictate the midfield. These efforts reaped rewards in the form of short corners, the second of which Scholesy slotted home following an efficient ‘German routine’ that has become the fans’ favourite. Bournemouth finished the half with a number threatening counter attacks, including a open-goal miss that would have embarrassed even Regaine Carne, leaving the OCs relieved to end a poor first half performance at 1-1.

A typically Mourinho-esque talk from Coach Boucher at the break lead to a more focused and clinical OC side emerging for the second half. An initial yellow for the Bournemouth skipper after cynically breaking up the play (admiringly contested despite his obvious guilt) seemed to provide the visitors with a window of opportunity to pile on the goals. However, another disastrous episode of muddled defending gifted a youthful Bournemouth striker a chance to regain the lead for his team, which he coolly took. It was only until a second yellow against Bournemouth that OCs could begin to capitalize. With Nick ‘Gerrard’ Ripley left injured on the sidelines, George ‘Viduka’ Cover suddenly displayed an extraordinary feat of agility. Using the full force of his muscle, he flung the ball into the bottom corner forcing a last ditch save from the postman, leaving Giggsy on hand to find the backboard. The taste of blood now on their lips, a third short corner was netted by a Harman reserve-stick wonder-goal deflection special (he emailed me to make sure I wrote that). With the OCs now 3-2 up and the last few minutes of the game ticking away, there was no way back for the home side. Once again, the Blues & Oranges showed a characteristically gritty performance to seal an important three points and a result that proves why they remain odds-on favourites for promotion.

Epilogue 
With post-game beers flowing and Shepherds Pie being dished out left, right and centre, mood was high in the Chapel Gate Clubhouse. Rippers treated himself to a seventh ciggy of the afternoon while Jay openly volunteered to wear the posh-twat jacket that he had found in a charity shop in celebration of scoring the winner. After enjoying the tales of the three wise men’s’ antics at the Bournemouth festival, Ceige and Pagey decided to make an early exit to return to Surrey in time for their evening commitments. It was then that disaster struck. In the process of skillfully fitting Danny’s goalie kit into the back of his Polo whilst slamming the boot shut, Pagey managed to also lock his keys inside the car. Welcomed back into the clubhouse to a round of applause, the two players were still sitting waiting for the AA an hour and a half later. Ciege, now a jug of lager deep and his usual patience wavering, aptly summed up the mood as the car pulled out of Chapel Gate: ‘Next week, Pagey, I’m driving’.


Croydon 2-1 Ladies XI



2nd XI 2-2 Surbiton IVa



3rd XI 5-0 Surrey Spartans


A good win against a poor Spartans side. Four-nil up at half time courtesy of a solo display from Charlie who bagged all from different angles and with a complete skill set. A fit Charlie would give the 1st XI a 20 goal head start each season. Only one more was added in the second half with an inspired performance from the Spartans keeper and some profligate finishing.