Match Reports - October 27, 2012

The 1st and the 2nd XIs won their clashes against Barnes and Wanderers, both 2-1, to remain at the top of their respective leagues, the 1st XI opening up a four-point gap over Bournemouth who we host next week. The Ladies went down to leaders Old Kingstonians 0-1 and lost their unbeaten record in the process, while the 3rd XI slipped to their third consecutive defeat with a 2-4 loss to Woking.

Chris Porter fires wide during the 2nd XI's win

Barnes 1-2 1st XI

After bullying their way through their first four opponents, we faced second-placed Barnes in tenacious top of the table clash. Its billing was high and mid-week mind-games dominated pre-match proceedings, creating unbearable tension between players and coaches come 14.30 at Barnes’ ‘river-base’ astro. Probably the only pitch in the country kept hydrated by the local river and its effects were immediately evident. OC’s quickly realising that they were now playing in brown shorts, as opposed to sparkly white wonders they had arrived in. The worry of cholera and typhoid striking were also niggling thoughts. Multiple complaints of diarrhoea were mentioned Sunday morning, but abuse of alcohol and dodgy kebabs are thought to be the root of evil there.

This was a game OC’s could not bear to lose, a night out at the Dogs awaited in the evening and thoughts of socialising after a loss were not worth contemplating. OC’s ever the belligerent, dogged and determined team were not the sort to be stopped in their tracks.

Tempers were flared, barks turned to roars as balls bounced and bobbled begrudgingly, passes rarely connected, chances few and far between, desperate shouts were called to gain some continuity as the game became increasingly ragged. A 14 man OC squad soon became depleted as both Simon Connolly and Johnny Hunter pulled up lame within 10 minutes to leave resources on the bench low. At 0-0 it was clear this was going to be a scrap to the final whistle.

A sharp move down the left caught Barnes by surprise and Chris ‘Sampras’ Gray pinged the ball across the face of the goal. The ball seemed to evade everybody, but the leagues top goalscorer Jay ‘the Hitman’ Harman tore the skin from his nose with a dive that would have won Tom Daly a gold this summer, 1-0. And one soon became two, Chris ‘CV’ Valentine producing some magic again down the left before some calamitous defending left the ball in the path of the Hitman once more. This meant one thing. Bang, 2-0. Home crowd left in stunned silence. Harman’s tally reaching seven for the season.

Barnes were sent into a frenzy. Tempers reached boiling point, a needless lash-out by the Barnes centre forward earned himself a yellow card. Yellow soon followed for Matt ‘Cookiey’ Cook mistaking the hockey pitch for a water slide and sliding some 10 metres outstretched into the back of the Barnes left back, soaked in river sewage and sent to the bin. 10 Vs 10 soon became 10 Vs 9 as Chris ‘Whizzer’ Wiseman reacted to some verbal abuse and delivered a camp, wafty kick towards the Barnes right midfielder, another yellow and initiative with Barnes. With OC backs against the wall, Barnes continued to press. A short corner forced Mowgli into a despairing dive clawing the ball out of the air with his stick at full stretch.

OC engines kicked into overdrive and battled against the odds. The defence marshalled by Coach Gary were resolute throughout. Some sublime last ditch tackles by Sam Carne, superb composure and discipline by left and right backs; Justin and Woody, frustration was etched onto their faces. Minor relief followed, a drag-flick into the bottom right corner gave Barnes hope approaching the last 15 minutes of the game. However, the Barnes right midfielder soon got his comeuppance for delivering his foul-mouthed rant at Whizzer Wiseman. Whizzer whizzed and whirled taking smash after smash to his stick, another yellow card produced leaving OC’s in prime position to hold on to the win.

The lack of options from the bench was taking its toll and with legs like tree trunks, tackles grew increasingly suspect. Whilst Barnes were pushing men forward in search for a late equaliser they had very few chances thanks to the wall created by our back four. OC’s were unfortunate not to capitalise themselves on the Barnes aggression squandering a couple of glorious chances on the break.

Final score 2-1. Mom – Justin for a classy display at the back. Consecutive DODs for Cookiey two yellow cards in last two games, with his size and power shock waves have been sent through the league about the new Vinnie Jones.

ALAS! After five wins a smile crept onto the face of Coach Gary, whilst it may not have lasted long it was a sign that OC’s were on track to completing their mission of winning the league. Whilst this may have meant yet another win for the mighty OC’s this was by no means a walk in the park, nor the pulsating game of hockey this game was touted to be. Nevertheless, a win is a win and that leaves OC’s top on 15 points after five games, four points clear from Bournemouth who OC’s face next week on home soil.

Celebrations went on into the early hours of Sunday morning. CV started early, turning the A3 into his own racetrack, sadly the police were less enthused by the idea. Fortunately his luck on a different racetrack was slightly more fortunate CV turning a tidy £300+ profit on the dogs, which was spent carefully on three rounds of drinks. Jay Harman spent most of his evening preparing to break the Guinness World Record by eating a slice of bread in a minute, falling just seconds short. Jay has vowed to give this one more shot next week.

Sampras found his grove trying to wow the ladies with some slightly unconventional dance moves, sadly he never actually wowed anybody. A sorry sight for sore eyes. Ross tried to work his magic, deciding to go straight in for the head-butt, a tactic proving to have slightly feisty repercussions. Two characters sure to be kept on a leash from now on.  Simon Connolly


2nd XI 2-1 Wanderers

Click here for match photos
Report to follow.

Ladies XI 0-1 Old Kingstonians

The top-of-the-table clash with Old Kingstonians, like us unbeaten, was decided by a first-half goal on 20 minutes after we squandered possession in our own 23. It was a disappointing way to lose but on the balance of play we could have few complaints.  Weakened by some high-profile absences, we too often gave the ball away and after a equal first-half were under the cosh after the break until the last ten minutes when we finally started putting on some pressure. Special praise to Tux who was outstanding.


3rd XI 2-4 Woking

Defeat by a strong Woking side made it three defeats on the trot but until we start to pass to each other and learn not to give them ball away unnecessarily things won’t change.  For long periods we put pressure on Woking but always looked vulnerable on the counter attack.  Two quick goals early on meant we were always playing catch-up and we went into the break 2-4 down, with two of the goals coming after we stopped in the D expecting a whistle against us only for Woking to score as advantage was played.  A David Knapp flick was the only score of the second half but we never really threatened enough to rattle a tough but fair side.  The game marked the impressive debut of Edwin Knapp, a younger, fitter and calmer version of his father much to the relief of the watching Surrey umpires. 

Match Reports - October 20, 2012

Wins for the 1st XI and 2nd XI meant both teams consolidated their positions at the top of their respective leagues. The 1st XI beat bottom side Havant 5-2 while the 2nd XI came from 3-4 down to beat NPL 5-4 thanks to two late goals. The Ladies beat Wimbledon to move third in Surrey 2, but the 3rd XI were well beaten at Sunbury to slide into the bottom third of their league. The Barnstormers beat HAC 4-2. 

Havant's keeper kept a clean sheet in the second half with a string of excellent saves

1st XI 5-2 Goan
Click here for match photos

After three games Old Cranleighans were sitting like the Queen on top of the throne waving prettily at the peasants at the foot of the table and guess what, the peasants decided to show at the OC stadium this week. Although Havant were squatting at the bottom they had a point to prove in this top Vs bottom clash.

This was a fixture that delighted our ginger centre back, who had three of his ginger brothers playing in the opposition line-up. The ginger quartet spoke in ‘ginglish’ throughout the game, a language only known and spoken by that breed of human being. One passer by was quoted as saying “it was a sight for sore eyes” and another saying “they should be locked up, they were vulgar throughout”. One thing was for certain, nobody envied them. Their look, their style, their complexion, left a lot to be desired and ginger quotas are being looked at more seriously by the league officials following this unprecedented turnout. Complete exclusion may be the only way to quash this epidemic.

Gingers to one side, the game begun just as the capacity crowd would have expected. Just like Prince Harry’s very own Jewel Crowns in his Vegas hotel suite, balls were pinging to and fro between OC sticks.

It was only OC’s who were doing the laughing in the first half. The forwards moved quicker than the Jamaican relay team, the midfield worked harder than they had ever worked before and the defence, well, they just watched and applauded. Which left Mowgli with absolutely nothing to do. One onlooker said he saw the Jungle-born and raised goalkeeper watching most of the game swinging from the branches of the treetops (in full goalkeeping kit).

The goals flew in. Chris ‘Whizzer’ Wiseman whizzed in two early goals, celebrations were mild, OC’s were hungry for more and Jay Harman netted in No. 5 for the season. A rampant OC’s showed little signs of sitting back and whilst Havant hit one on the break OC’s fired back with two more from both Cookiey and Simon ‘Spaz’ Connolly from close range. A relentless and persistent first half display left the score at a firm 5-1 smashing to OC’s.

But, if ever there was a game of two halves this was it. An OC team talk demanding more of the same resulted in very little of this. A poor second half performance? A better Havant display? Perhaps a combination of the two. A half to be forgotten from the OC perspective. Some missed chances, but sadly some hockey played in stark contrast to that of the first half resulting in Havant scoring the only goal of the half. This left OC’s in despondent mood come the final whistle and greater efforts need to be made to ensure that the high standard of hockey achieved can be maintained throughout the whole game. This is of paramount importance come next week’s 1^st Vs 2^nd clash away at Barnes.

Smiler Update: Scowls only this week from Coach Gary and he actually said “OMG” to the Umpire. Despite achieving 4 wins out of 4, he is running dangerously close to a vote of no confidence. Simon Connolly

In the interests of our family audience certain references to the intimate areas of members of the Royal family have been edited

NPL 4-5 2nd XI

What a morning. Firstly I am writing this purely because the opposition’s captain didn’t get back to me and let me know where the pitch was or what shirts we were to play in etc. With some disruption to the team very last minute it turn out that I also got the numbers wrong and ended up with only 11 players.

With absolutely no warm up, we strolled on the pitch still half asleep and completely unprepared. Subsequently we started slowly and gave the ball away very easily, eventually after the opposition missed a couple of golden chases to catch us in our sleepy states there was a scrap in the oppositions D with Charlie Smith coming out on top and slotting it past the keeper to put us one ahead.

We then started moving the ball around quite nicely and just when we were starting to look good the game got a bit heated, Ports in fairness didn't do anything but the opposition kicked off about nothing and they somehow both managed to get yellow cards! We then lost our heads when we should have been capitalising as the other team seemed to be falling apart, but then they scored to make it 1-1. After the restart an aerial went up and Alan Cheung very expertly picked the ball out of mid air in line with his ear, he then very kindly makes the umpires decision easier as he very generously walked off the pitch and practically gave himself a yellow card! Now down to nine men and no subs the game took a turn for the worse for us and the opposition scored two quick goals to make the score at half time 3-1 to NPL.

We knew the next goal was key and that we had to bring ourselves back to the level of hockey we know we can play, rather than getting sucked down to their level of hockey. We started playing well and working for one another. With Ports and Harry bossing the midfield expertly; CB making great runs and helping me out on the right wing and Tom Merry doing exactly the same with Nick Lewis on the left we started looking like the team we have been all season. Everything was working great and the opposition were seeing very little of the ball. The end result was two good goals from myself and Charlie to even up the match.

With tired legs and not one person to help rest the midfielders; the running took its toll and the defence lack conviction on one of their breaks and they capitalised on it. 4-3 down. We all knew that we had come too far by this point to let the match slip away. We took a couple of deep breaths and Heardy started shouting!! It work and the OC’s once again moved forward with precise passing and by not panicking we created some space for Gav and just like last week he slotted his back stick past the keeper and we still had more in us. The next 5 minutes had all the passion and feel of the recent Ryder Cup and a team that were pulling together. NPL made their last move and put everything they could into it for Ross to make the save of the game by stretching out this left foot to stop the ball going into the bottom left corner of our goal. That was it, I could barely breath at this point and just as my legs were giving way ports puts the ball into space for me to run onto and before I even blink, CB has spotted my weakness and has stormed past me to take over on the right wing for me. CB showing all this years of captaincy and leading from the front! After having been out
paced by a now Qualified VET’s player I knew I had to dig deep and the team were building the last attack.

With the whole team pushed forward some great interlinking and no one panicking with a half chance shot,
we bided our time and made sure that the opportunity was there. The pass came in for Gav to dive on his front with an outstretched arm and guide the ball home for a fantastically spirited OC victory. A lippy opposition and generally foul mouthed, showed their lack of team spirit and just like Team Europe we certainly showed ours! The victory tasted good and could define the season ahead. Looking forward to next week. Lewi

Wimbldeon Dev 0-3 Ladies XI

Report to follow


Sunbury 4-0 3rd XI

Whereas we were left wondering how we lost against Goan last weekend, there were no such doubts about why we were beaten on the beach that is Sunbury’s home ground.  The home team played harder, switched the ball round well and muscled – fairly – their way to most 50-50 balls. They also possessed a forward who was a clinical finisher even if he mouthed off at anyone and everyone.

After last week’s loss Chris Bents sent a rallying email to his troops containing the following warning: “Abuse at umpires, is NOT acceptable, they are giving up there time for nothing.  Hockey is getting too like football at times....we need to learn to accept the umpires decision and walk away.”  There was a sense of inevitability – and plenty of sniggering – when Bents was the first to be hauled over for a talking to after forcibly disputing a decision.

The fresh-faced side of a week ago had given way to a more familiar XI but for the first 15 minutes we probably shaded the play without creating much in the D.  tackles and tantrums were enough to cause the umpires to pull aside both captains on the quarter hour and from then on things calmed down.

Sunbury took the lead on 20 minutes after a well-behaved Nigel failed to clear and his defence failed to move.  Nigel was on best behaviour, limiting himself to spending the first half telling George, the cocky Sunbury forward, that he was useless and couldn’t hit a barn door from five yards.  By the time George had completed his hat-trick – interspersed with a spell on the side after louder and more misguided verbals of his own – Nigel had retreated into a previously unseen state. Silence.

Sunbury were the much better side after the break and three late goals may have marginally flattered them but the result did not. Early days still but another tough match awaits this weekend against unbeaten Woking.

Barnstormers 4-2 HAC

Great win on Saturday for Barnstormers against a strong and competitive HAC side with what looks like a comfortable 4-2 win hiding a turning point with HAC hitting the post and the ball bouncing away (Finnegan claims he had it covered but HAC thought that it had hit the stanchion and come out !) and Barnstormers then breaking fast and going straight down the other end to score to make it safe at 4-2. We nearly paid heavily for failing to convert a number of chances. I believe the goals were scored by Strover 2, Sheriff (Norman) and a Tony Jones screamer at the far post from his customary short distance.

The match was notable for David Knapp returning to the hockey pitch after a longer break than he has ever had and Steve “I have moved out of Town” Harmer and Ollie Street renewing their acquaintance with Vets hockey. Even Simon Marshall got through the match without injury as far as I know but Sean Prigmore, who had expressed surprise at this unusual turn of Marshall events, doing his Hammy instead.

Colts section off to a flying start

The Colts section has now been up and running for three weeks and we already have in excess of 30 kids who have registered with us.

Feedback has been great with the weather improving every week not that the kids seemed phased by the rain in week 1, with some positively relishing it. Week three saw warm(ish) sunshine and close to 30 kids taking full advantage, including a number of new faces trying it out for the first time. We have also seen demand for some slightly younger ages and will be splitting the kids into groups based on ages and abilities to ensure they get the most appropriate coaching.

If you or anyone you know is still interested in getting your kids involved please get in touch at colts@oldcranleighan.com as soon as possible. We are seeing demand build quickly and may well hit a maximum capacity sooner than we anticipated with numbers restricted to ensure we maintain the quality of coaching and keep it fun for all those taking part.

For various practical and health and safety purposes, we need to register any new members before they take part although anyone worried it might not be for them is welcome to come down for a trial session by prior arrangement. We can’t guarantee sunshine every week but only snow or ice will ever see a session cancelled, and if the weather is unkind at least mums and dads can keep warm and dry in the adjoining clubhouse and grandstand!

As always, you are very welcome to get in touch with our Colts Chairman, Gavin Adair with any questions, email as above.

Click here to download the membership form
Click here to download to form to order kit

Match Reports - October 13, 2012

Reigate 1-2 1st XI

After two games OC’s were sitting pretty at the top of the table with bitter competitors suspecting something a bit fishy in light of Lance Armstrong’s fall from grace this week. Whilst the OC performances have shown signs of athletes pumped full of testosterone, steroids, cortisone and displays only thought possible with persistent blood doping. However, recent testing have confirmed the OC’s are just an unnatural breed of athletes who defy science altogether and this news has left rival teams choking on their sour grapes.

Though just like Lance Armstrong we had to ensure we were relentless in our quest to win and this week our quest led us to the Reigate ‘ice rink’. A game, which if form was anything to go by should be another three points. Yet before the game even commenced this weeks challenge was looking increasingly difficult as Sam ‘Whizzer’ Wiseman’s car was anything but whizzy and had overdosed and passed out on the hard shoulder of the A3. This meant the Ripley brothers and Whizzer could not make the start of the game and our entire starting midfield from last Saturday had been wiped out. This called for an emergency tactical rethink by Coach Gary.   

This clearly caught OCs by surprise and nerves were beginning to jangle. Sam Carne took matters into his pasty, freckly hands and attempted to quash all pre-match nerves with some musical notes selected from his iPhone. Unfortunately Boy George and Wheatus did little to give the boys a lift before the game and sadly there was no access to Lance Armstrong’s stash in a time of need. The effects of this were evident when the umpire blew to get the action under way. Reigate making the sharper start, firing the ball across the rink with plenty of venom and barely letting the OC’s sniff the ball in the first five minutes.

OC’s crawled their way back into the game and began to sharpen up, however, a couple of short corner chances went begging and a third short corner was quickly charged down and led to a speedy counter by Reigate. Before OC’s had the chance to blink again the ball was in the back of the goal. Shock was painted on the faces of the visitors. The first time these men had been down this season. Could they climb themselves out of a hole they had never been in before?

A spark ignited, like an addict suddenly hit with a craving, leading to a frenzied search for his crack. This frenzied search epitomises the OC’s hunt for a goal, persistent and relentless. Bodies were diving, tackles were crunching and balls whizzed once more. Chance after chance was created, but chance after chance was squirmed. Yet just before half time Jay Harman converted from close range to take his tally to 3 for the season. The half time whistle blew. Deflated yet upbeat the score 1-1. Spirits were boosted by the arrival of Whizzer and the Ripley brothers who marched in with sticks over their shoulders, like soldiers going into battle.

The chances continued and the introduction of the new men ensured fresh legs remained on the pitch. That was until Whizzer was sent to the stands for 10 minutes for a controversial yellow card. However, Reigate barely saw the ball and chances flowed and flowed, a neat finish from Chris Valentine saw OC’s take just one of these chances. A deserved lead and goalie Captain Dan ‘Mowgli’ was left swinging from his crossbar in delight. OC’s continued to create, but continued to waste. No more goals followed and shooting practice will be top of the agenda come training on Wednesday. Final score 2-1 to Old Cranleighans.

Smiler update: Still no smile from Coach Gary. Simon Connolly

Ladies XI 1-0 Croydon

After last week’s trek to Crystal Palace, a home game was massively welcomed this week. It was another close match, resulting in a solid second win of the season for us OC Ladies. We’re definitely getting into our stride this season and this week, we absolutely hit the ground running from the word ‘go’.  A great strike at goal from Manny in the first half gave us the 1-0 lead that we deserved. Croydon were adamant to make our lives a bit tricky with a couple of great tough tackles and we had to work hard to keep the lead. With perhaps a bit too many missed chances at goal from us, it was a close game.

However, despite a couple of chances from Croydon and an absolutely spectacular save from Michele whilst flying through the air, stick extended, ensured we remained 1-0 up. Bets on whether Michele can top that save this season?!

Strong work from all of the team this week. Man of the match was split between Georgie up front, Ana and Jax in the middle, and Michele in Goal. Job done. Fletch

2nd XI 3-0 Reigate
Another great win for the 2nds. We had a great start to the week when we knew we had 21 people available to play so we were always going to have a strong game this week.

Watching the 3rd XI wasn't the best warm up and focus was lacking a bit but as soon as the match start we came out the blocks quickly. After about 10 minutes we were getting quite settled and Gav had a good shot from top of the D which was well saved but the goalie kicked the ball straight back to Gav from him to reverse it neatly into the bottom right corner. Soon afterwards we won a shot corner and Lewi caught the ball about as life as you like and fired it into the bottom right corner as well.

We then took our foot off the pedal and were taking a bit of pressure from the opposition and conceded a couple of shot corners. The newly married Paul Watson made some great saves and from one such save we broke away combining fast and fluid passing and carving up the defence for CB to draw in the keeper and slip it back perfectly for Guessy to put it over the keeper to score his second in as many weeks just before the half time whistle!

Being 3-0 up we felt like we could run away with it and really get the goal tally up. We put some good passage of plays together but all in all we were a bit sloppy and didn't take our chances in this half. Nick Lewis smashing post and Gav missing when he had drawn the keeper and just a hip over him was needed. Long story short the keeper saved it and then followed up by hitting the post as well. With some great defence from Ports, Cato, Heardy and Fez we looked strong at the back and JP, Grimer and Harry Morse all combining to keep the midfield working well throughout the game.

Another good win, however it could have been much better and not as clinical as we were the week before. Top of the table now and looking forward to staying there. Keep it up chaps.

3rd XI 1-3 Goan
A utterly bizarre game. The first half was as one sided as England-San Marino had been the night before and like the national team, we had almost all the possession but did little with it where it mattered. A nifty deflected goal from Dom ten minutes before the break was the only score of a half where Goan defended heroicly deep in their half by fair means and occasionally foul.

A minute into the second half and Goan levelled, their 64-year-old (yes, that's right) forward outpacing defenders who won't be named to fire home with precision.  What should have been a blip turned into a pivotal moment as we threw more people forward and allowed Goan to hit us regularly on the counter.

Ten minutes into the second half Goan were awarded a dubious short corner. Regardless of the correctness of  the decision, our arguments left us with a goalkeeper in the naughty boy corner and the defenders drawing lots for the unenviable job of kicking back. No messing about from Goan -the short-corner was thumped straight back at the goal and they had the lead.

Again we pressed, dominating the midfield but failing to prise open the defence or pressurise the keeper. Had there been stats then they would have showed we had 75% of the possession and yet Goan probably had more shots.  Almost inevitably Goan sealed the game three minutes from time from yet another well-worked counter.

Goan's average age was 55 and the strongest side the 3rd XI have fielded in years ought to have demolished them. That we didn't was impatience in the build up and a lack of a Plan B when Plan A failed. We will learn from this, but we also have to keep our heads and not look for excuses when we do lose.

The final word goes to Tom Merry, a man whose summer recruitment campaign has been outstanding, so much so he has lost his own place in the 2nd XI! "We were shocking," he said. "End of."

A message from the Club Captain

An open letter from OCHC Club Captain Simon Marshall to all members

Now that we are few weeks into the season I feel a brief update is due following my initial welcome message to you all last month. Firstly, I am pleased to say that we have made a cracking start to the season across both the mens and the ladies teams and I hope that this success is maintained. Secondly, we are delighted at how many new faces we have welcomed to the Club and how you have all managed to slot in. At this stage of the season there are always teething troubles and the purpose of this Newsletter is to highlight a couple of these to you. In my welcome message I made reference to the principles of fun and fair play, playing to win and supporting the team captains. I would like to expand on a couple of these principles.

Having represented in my time the men’s 1st XI, 2nd XI, 3rd XI, the Vets and “Super Vets” (surely he can’t be old enough I hear you say), I would like to think that I am well placed to comment on the highs and lows of playing for the Club having been dropped and reinstated more times than I would care to think.

Given the pool of male players available to us this year I feel that it is more than possible for the Club to get all three of the Men’s sides promoted. These are the primary goals that have been set to the team captains. To achieve these goals all of us have to pull together as Club, players, coaches and captains alike. This means that players will inevitably have to be prepared to be as flexible as possible and to understand the problems that the captains have in picking what must be out of necessity their strongest teams.

Please remember that you joined the Club, not a particular team and on occasions you may therefore be selected to play for another team. The team Captains are already faced with the considerable difficulties of managing availability for both training and matches. They all have to try to strike the right balance between the players who commit themselves to training and fixtures week in week out and those who simply cannot commit as regularly due to work or for personal reasons. Of course there will be instances where individuals will feel harshly treated by a particular selection. Unfortunately this has been going on for the 35 years that I have been playing hockey, but that is Club life.

My second message is one to all male and female players and is an appeal for you to pay your subscriptions. Unfortunately the Club cannot run on fresh air – there are bills to pay. I am conscious that in today’s economic climate the sums involved are a lot and we are more than happy to discuss individual circumstances to help your cashflow. Years ago in a former role as Club Secretary, I was charged with collecting subs and on one Saturday morning just before push back was found standing on the balcony hollering out across the green swards of TD to an OC player reminding him he hadn’t paid. Out of sheer embarrassment his cheque was on the bar after the match – he had cowered off home. You have been warned!!!

I look forward to continue counting the wins as they come in and to seeing us all collectively take the Club from strength to strength as well as enjoying a few beers in the bar afterwards.

Best Wishes

Simon Marshall
Club Captain

Match Reports - October 6 2012

Another good weekend with excellent results throughout. The 1st XI turned in a slick show to beat Chichester 5-1 while the 2nd XI also maintained their 100% start at Old Reigatians. The Ladies drew 3-3 at Wayfarers while the 4th XI won 5-2 at Oxted and the Hamstringers recorded their first win of the season, beating Old Loughtonians 1-0.

The second goal for the 1st XI early in the first half

1st XI 5-1 Chichester
Click here for match photos
Another scorching Saturday and this meant one thing - danger.

Sam Carne’s skin was now in serious danger of blistering, after once again forgetting his sun block. This has now become a serious concern to the OCs and nearly forced coach Gary into making a late change. Fortunately for us and rather unfortunately for Chichester he made it through the game with no major repercussions, other than the obvious permanent defects he has to bear each day.

In order to divert another potential disaster, teammate Simon Connolly has decided to splash out on a technological wonder to resolve the situation - a solar powered sunhat fully equipped with water spray. This genius invention will allow our pasty, ginger centre back to be fit and ready in temperatures soaring well above 30 degrees. Although not yet approved by the English Hockey League we are hopeful that for medical reasons this will be accepted in the near future.

It was not only Sam Carne who was in danger on Saturday afternoon, all 11 Chichester players were left shaking in their boots when OC’s passed and penetrated with such finesse that Barcelona themselves would be warmly applauding. The return of the Ripley brothers did nothing to boost our chances of winning ‘sexiest team of the year’, however, they more than played their part in and for that we were grateful.

Any nerves that may have niggled prior to the game were quashed within minutes, George Cover slinging the ball from outside the top of the day for Jay Harman to delicately glance over the goalie. The lead was doubled soon after when a short corner was converted into the bottom corner by Hunter, a deserved lead after just 15 minutes of action. A third soon followed, yet another Jay Harman goal, leaving the half time score at 3-0. The players were ecstatic, the crowd were delirious and coach Gary nearly smiled.

The second half saw OC’s balls whizz and whirl past the outside of the post on a number of occasions and short corner opportunities were not captured. Yet the hockey on show continued to amaze. Nobody whizzed and whirled more than Chris ‘Whizzer’ Wiseman leaving the crowds jaws glued the floor and eyes left aching whilst trying to follow the ball when on the end of his stick. Nick Ripley showed his class catching the Chichester defence napping from a free hit and bursting into the ‘D’ before bludgeoning the ball hard into the net off a well placed OC stick.

Charlie Thompson’s confident display up top certainly matched his billing as the ‘new kid on the block’. On numerous occasions he whistled pass the last defender with such ease it was like watching Usain Bolt race a baby, swooshing past each defender with such elegance. In the final minutes it was Charlie’s swirling run, which resulted in a heinous crime by the final Chichester defender and left the umpire with no choice but to award a penalty stroke. George Cover took over proceedings and coolly whipped the ball with precision and power into the upper left part of the netting.

Just like last week the clean sheet was snatched away towards the latter part of the game, a mishit shot somehow diverted its way between Skipper Dan’s legs and dribbled into the corner of the goal. Yet even this was not enough to earn him the coveted ‘Dick of the Day’ award, a clear conspiracy resulted in this honour once again falling on Simon Connolly, who once again was harshly awarded a yellow card. This provided the only dampener on another scorching and victorious day. Final score 5-1. Simon Connolly

London Wayfarers 3-3 Ladies XI

It’s fair to say that Saturday seemed like a battle before we even set foot on the pitch. Whilst the Crystal Palace sports arena isn’t the easiest place to travel to or find, we did eventually get to the pitch and were lucky enough to use their athletics stadium to warm up.

The game itself was tough – Wayfarers wanted a win as much as we did and both teams put in a good fight from the beginning. At point’s it did seem like they had 12 players on the pitch, but despite that, we didn’t let our heads drop. Michelle had a stormer of a game and saved many shots of goal - not to mention the penalty flick that was awarded against us. Sophie, who was nominated man of the match, also had a great game and was a solid defender throughout.

We resulted with 3-3 draw, so a big congratulations to everyone who played. Scorers were Manny, Fletch and Sophie.  Philly Denman

In the interests of fairness, and without naming names, it should be mentioned the coach of the Ladies had an afternoon to forget. After being caught in pretty much every set of roadworks on the way to the delightful Crystal Palace ground he arrived near half time (with the white "away"  shirts) and was then banished to the stands in the second half after questioning the decision-making of the umpire.

Old Reigatians 1-5 2nd XI

It was a convincing outing for those looking for promotion with great teamwork goals and a well controlled defensive performance. One of the oppo commented "you guys are well drilled, you must all go to training ... "

Making up for the 200 emails during the week, Lewi took his goal tally up to five with two more including one reverse stick to the slightly old goalie's right hand corner. Farqs scored two well-earned goals that were created by excellent teamwork, which was also reflected in the team managing to knock up a string of 30 passes whilst playing with ten men. The card was for querying the umpire's decision and no it wasn't Porter. Guessy had a great passing game in the middle of the park and also knocked in the final goal.

Last year this fixture was a 3-3 draw with the OCs throwing away a 3-1 lead in the last ten. Although there was a goal in the last play of the game, the current side is different and benefits from an influx of experienced players bringing both composure in defence and ball skills down the wings.

Oxted 3-5 3rd XI

As usual for away games we turned up with the bare minimum of 11 players; much to the credit of Chris for his hard work at getting that many of us to travel to Caterham.  A very good team performance against an Oxted side mixed with some of the club's youth players.  With some very good passing Old Cranleighans took a comfortable three goal lead before half time.  In the second half we continued to play in the same fashion and added a fourth and fifth goal.  Ten minutes before the end when we thought the game was won we stopped playing, switched off and conceded three very soft goals to take the gloss of what was a very impressive performance. Ed Brown

In mails which followed Chris Bents singled out Nigel Hawes for his excellent first-half performance. Nigel admitted the second-half shipping of three goals may have been closely linked to his hangover kicking in during the match.

Match Reports - September 29 2012

An excellent start to the league season proper with an emphatic win for the 1st XI, while the Ladies and 2nd XI had comfortable home victories. The 3rd XI allowed Epson to twice come from behind to draw 2-2 while the Barnstormers came away from St Albans with a 6-1 win.

Hat-trick hero and new skipper Alex Lewis crosses during the 2nd XI's 3-1 win over Barnes

Southampton 1-6 1st XI

After an inconsistent preseason and a team playing only its first match together the outcome of the first league game of the season could not be called. And as the sun descended on Southampton it was clear that the newly formed team were up for the challenge.

With sweat pouring from the brow, hunger in the eyes and 13 (that’s 11 +2 subs) testosterone oozing men, sought to deliver the dream start to the season. The game started with both times trying to spend to gain some confidence on the ball. Then Jay Harman delivered the first sucker punch, skipping past one, then another, firing his shot before following in the rebound from 2 yards. The team went wild, the crowd were silenced and Southampton were reeling.

 However, Old Cranleighans had no time to be sympathetic they were relentless in attack and ruthless from their penalty corners. A stunningly perfected move converted by Chris “Samprass” Gray doubled the lead. Then player/coach Gary very nearly broke a smile with his near post finish from a second corner. Then with a contender for move of the season (other early competition from Jay Harman’s warm-up routines) – Frank surged up the right, played a one two, before waltzing past the Southampton defence and neatly laying it back to George Cover who took it onto his reverse and smashed it into bottom right of goal sending the Southampton goalkeeper into a frenzied attack on his own goal. Onlookers questioned his sanity. Old Cranleighans simply applauded their forward’s virtuoso finishing. The sun was shining heavily on Old Cranleighans and at half time they went into the break 4 goals up.

Southampton were certainly feeling the heat, as was Old Cranleighan’s pasty ginger centre back, who had forgotten his factor 50 and his skin tone was rapidly matching his hair colour. A second half created more chances, despairing dives and more goals. Samprass miraculously converted a decapitating cross and wheeled away in wild celebrations for his second goal of the game. CV gave OC’s a 6th when fighting off a barrage of wild tackles, before rounding the 4th defender and coolly slotting home. Simon Connolly was shown a cruel yellow card in the dying minutes; a decision which all parties agreed was particularly harsh. This provided the only dampener for the day. A day which shone very brightly for Old Cranleighans. Simon Connolly

Ladies 3-0 Wanderers
An excellent allround performance by the Ladies against a strong Wanderers side which was in the balance until the last five minutes when two late goals killed off what had been an end-to-end tussle.  we had the best of the first half but were unable to convert any chances although, despite us giving the ball away too often, Wanderers rarely threatened.

We took the lead from a short-corner strike early in the second half and thereafter both teams attacked strongly. with Wanderers creating the better chances.  As the game wore on the fresh legs which came from having a full 16-man squad paid dividends and we only truly relaxed when the third went in a minute from time.


2nd XI 3-1 Barnes

“So, the "doodle" proved a doddle and for the first time in living memory, the OC 2nd XI were blessed with a squad of 20 to choose from. In the end, we took 14 and came away with a well deserved 3-1 victory over Barnes to get the season off to a fine start in glorious sunshine at Thames Ditton. Some new faces certainly helped... Mark "Fez" Featherstone has joined to bolster the backline (fez alongside mez - not at all confusing...) and he had a cracking game on debut. Similarly impressive was Robert "Rehab" Glazbrook who had fun in the sun, trying to dribble round the whole team (he almost did). Some returners too - our resident apache pilot Sam "Bomber" Blackmore back after a year learning to fly and Jon Heard back to his best after an injury-plagued last season.

And so to the game. In truth, the OCs should have buried it early in the second half when they found themselves 3-0 up and in the ascendancy. But alas, a touch of complacency made things tighter than they needed to be. The 3 goals all came from the stick of the new skipper Lewi who was in inspired form. Rarely does a hat-trick include three topped strikes which beat the keeper but this was one such rarity. He was leading by example though - if you're going to top it, top it on target. There were others who chose to top it just slightly off target - you know who you are!!  The less that's said about the way we leaked the soft Barnes goal the better. At 3-1, with 15 to play, Barnes had some renewed strength and there were times where it looked like it might get to 3-2 - not least when they missed a stroke after Chris O'Neil Dunne got caught playing footie on the goal line (accidentally I should add).

But we shouldn't take anything away from a good OC performance. Bar one crazy lapse, the defence was solid and it was good to have some legs in the midfield. Farqs had a good game up front, setting up Maughan late in the first half with a lovely pass. Will Guess, Neil Grimes and JP Wack were all industrious in the midfield and Henry was a constant threat going forward. Let's hope that this is a sign of things to come and with some other regulars to return in the coming weeks, it would be good to get on a roll. Also good if we can continue to savour victories with a few post-match beers.

A final word for the umpiring which was good. (In fact, it was very good if you were sporting OC colours.) On another day, a few decisions may have gone the other way. But they say you make your own luck in this world... long may ours’ continue!  Well done boys.” Tom Merry


3rd XI 2-2 Epsom

An entertaining and well-fought game in the late summer sunshine ended all square which was probably a fair result, although it took some excellent goalkeeping from the ever-vocal comeback king Nigel Hawes to keep us in the match in the second half.  Twice we went ahead, and twice Epsom levelled within a minute, although we had - and missed -  a chance to steal the points in the last minute which would have been a little harsh.