Match Reports - October 27, 2012

The 1st and the 2nd XIs won their clashes against Barnes and Wanderers, both 2-1, to remain at the top of their respective leagues, the 1st XI opening up a four-point gap over Bournemouth who we host next week. The Ladies went down to leaders Old Kingstonians 0-1 and lost their unbeaten record in the process, while the 3rd XI slipped to their third consecutive defeat with a 2-4 loss to Woking.

Chris Porter fires wide during the 2nd XI's win

Barnes 1-2 1st XI

After bullying their way through their first four opponents, we faced second-placed Barnes in tenacious top of the table clash. Its billing was high and mid-week mind-games dominated pre-match proceedings, creating unbearable tension between players and coaches come 14.30 at Barnes’ ‘river-base’ astro. Probably the only pitch in the country kept hydrated by the local river and its effects were immediately evident. OC’s quickly realising that they were now playing in brown shorts, as opposed to sparkly white wonders they had arrived in. The worry of cholera and typhoid striking were also niggling thoughts. Multiple complaints of diarrhoea were mentioned Sunday morning, but abuse of alcohol and dodgy kebabs are thought to be the root of evil there.

This was a game OC’s could not bear to lose, a night out at the Dogs awaited in the evening and thoughts of socialising after a loss were not worth contemplating. OC’s ever the belligerent, dogged and determined team were not the sort to be stopped in their tracks.

Tempers were flared, barks turned to roars as balls bounced and bobbled begrudgingly, passes rarely connected, chances few and far between, desperate shouts were called to gain some continuity as the game became increasingly ragged. A 14 man OC squad soon became depleted as both Simon Connolly and Johnny Hunter pulled up lame within 10 minutes to leave resources on the bench low. At 0-0 it was clear this was going to be a scrap to the final whistle.

A sharp move down the left caught Barnes by surprise and Chris ‘Sampras’ Gray pinged the ball across the face of the goal. The ball seemed to evade everybody, but the leagues top goalscorer Jay ‘the Hitman’ Harman tore the skin from his nose with a dive that would have won Tom Daly a gold this summer, 1-0. And one soon became two, Chris ‘CV’ Valentine producing some magic again down the left before some calamitous defending left the ball in the path of the Hitman once more. This meant one thing. Bang, 2-0. Home crowd left in stunned silence. Harman’s tally reaching seven for the season.

Barnes were sent into a frenzy. Tempers reached boiling point, a needless lash-out by the Barnes centre forward earned himself a yellow card. Yellow soon followed for Matt ‘Cookiey’ Cook mistaking the hockey pitch for a water slide and sliding some 10 metres outstretched into the back of the Barnes left back, soaked in river sewage and sent to the bin. 10 Vs 10 soon became 10 Vs 9 as Chris ‘Whizzer’ Wiseman reacted to some verbal abuse and delivered a camp, wafty kick towards the Barnes right midfielder, another yellow and initiative with Barnes. With OC backs against the wall, Barnes continued to press. A short corner forced Mowgli into a despairing dive clawing the ball out of the air with his stick at full stretch.

OC engines kicked into overdrive and battled against the odds. The defence marshalled by Coach Gary were resolute throughout. Some sublime last ditch tackles by Sam Carne, superb composure and discipline by left and right backs; Justin and Woody, frustration was etched onto their faces. Minor relief followed, a drag-flick into the bottom right corner gave Barnes hope approaching the last 15 minutes of the game. However, the Barnes right midfielder soon got his comeuppance for delivering his foul-mouthed rant at Whizzer Wiseman. Whizzer whizzed and whirled taking smash after smash to his stick, another yellow card produced leaving OC’s in prime position to hold on to the win.

The lack of options from the bench was taking its toll and with legs like tree trunks, tackles grew increasingly suspect. Whilst Barnes were pushing men forward in search for a late equaliser they had very few chances thanks to the wall created by our back four. OC’s were unfortunate not to capitalise themselves on the Barnes aggression squandering a couple of glorious chances on the break.

Final score 2-1. Mom – Justin for a classy display at the back. Consecutive DODs for Cookiey two yellow cards in last two games, with his size and power shock waves have been sent through the league about the new Vinnie Jones.

ALAS! After five wins a smile crept onto the face of Coach Gary, whilst it may not have lasted long it was a sign that OC’s were on track to completing their mission of winning the league. Whilst this may have meant yet another win for the mighty OC’s this was by no means a walk in the park, nor the pulsating game of hockey this game was touted to be. Nevertheless, a win is a win and that leaves OC’s top on 15 points after five games, four points clear from Bournemouth who OC’s face next week on home soil.

Celebrations went on into the early hours of Sunday morning. CV started early, turning the A3 into his own racetrack, sadly the police were less enthused by the idea. Fortunately his luck on a different racetrack was slightly more fortunate CV turning a tidy £300+ profit on the dogs, which was spent carefully on three rounds of drinks. Jay Harman spent most of his evening preparing to break the Guinness World Record by eating a slice of bread in a minute, falling just seconds short. Jay has vowed to give this one more shot next week.

Sampras found his grove trying to wow the ladies with some slightly unconventional dance moves, sadly he never actually wowed anybody. A sorry sight for sore eyes. Ross tried to work his magic, deciding to go straight in for the head-butt, a tactic proving to have slightly feisty repercussions. Two characters sure to be kept on a leash from now on.  Simon Connolly


2nd XI 2-1 Wanderers

Click here for match photos
Report to follow.

Ladies XI 0-1 Old Kingstonians

The top-of-the-table clash with Old Kingstonians, like us unbeaten, was decided by a first-half goal on 20 minutes after we squandered possession in our own 23. It was a disappointing way to lose but on the balance of play we could have few complaints.  Weakened by some high-profile absences, we too often gave the ball away and after a equal first-half were under the cosh after the break until the last ten minutes when we finally started putting on some pressure. Special praise to Tux who was outstanding.


3rd XI 2-4 Woking

Defeat by a strong Woking side made it three defeats on the trot but until we start to pass to each other and learn not to give them ball away unnecessarily things won’t change.  For long periods we put pressure on Woking but always looked vulnerable on the counter attack.  Two quick goals early on meant we were always playing catch-up and we went into the break 2-4 down, with two of the goals coming after we stopped in the D expecting a whistle against us only for Woking to score as advantage was played.  A David Knapp flick was the only score of the second half but we never really threatened enough to rattle a tough but fair side.  The game marked the impressive debut of Edwin Knapp, a younger, fitter and calmer version of his father much to the relief of the watching Surrey umpires.