That's it for 2009

The club’s last game of 2009 fell victim to the weather as the 4th XI match at Oxted was called off on Thursday after overnight snow and a wretched forecast, which proved accurate.

After a two-week break we return to action on Saturday, January 2 when the Veterans take on all comers at Thames Ditton. Andy Eve has all the details. On Sunday, January 3 we take on the School for the Roger Loveland Vase.

Match reports December 12 2009

The 1st XI slipped up against Andover in the last game of the year, drawing 2-2 but still reaching halfway unbeaten and at the top of the league. The Ladies also bounced back from last week’s loss with a 5-1 win at distant Tulse Hill & Dulwich to reignite their promotion campaign. The 2nd XI finished a miserable first half of the season with a 0-5 loss to Oxted, but the 4th XI beat Aldershot and Farnham 3-1.

Andover 2-2 1st XI
Three months ago would we have settled for an unbeaten first half of the season with us topping the table? Yes, we would have. However our top position is possibly only until Southampton play their game in hand and by dropping two points today we have lost our cushion gained from the Wanderers results involving Southampton and OMWs. Two points certainly dropped but for the first time ever we reach Christmas unbeaten in the league, having won eight and drawn three. The league is still in our hands so at least we are not reliant on the other teams around us dropping points.

We could not have started better with a wonderful flowing move, a ball cracked in by Jonny H for Gavin to deflect home his 8th of the season. Criminally Andover were allowed to score an equaliser in minutes with what was an untidy goal from our perspective but all credit to a young Andover team who were not prepared to be rolled over. For the next 10 minutes the game became scrappy before we exerted some pressure, won a series of shorts and regained the lead when Rippers flicked home a well worked corner. From this point on we created chance after chance but the home keeper was in inspired form, saving well from Gavin and Knappy and dealing with the other six or seven corners we forced with ease.

Much of the same in the second half but even though we had 80% of the game Andover equalized scoring on the break with a swift interchange of passes that left James in goal stranded. Knapp and Adair again had vicious shots well saved and try as we might we could not force a way passed a resolute keeper. Another eight or more corners produced nowt, we lost out structure and for a period were guilty of trying to win the game as individuals instead of playing our usual fast passing game. Andover did look dangerous on the break when we over committed but we could and should have won.

Ten years ago we came down to Andover having won 10 out of 10, dominated from start to finish, came up against an inspired keeper and went away tail between our legs losing 4 - 3. At least this time we left Andover bloodied but unbeaten. Great defensive play from our hosts who fought hard and well when they could easily have rolled over. Yes, we missed a number of good chances and did not choose the right option in the D on occasions but we did play some top hockey and created a hatful of chances.

Not all doom and gloom with us still being the side to beat. David Knapp

2nd XI 0-5 Oxted


4th XI 3-1 Aldershot and Farnham
Warning - this report was written by the galloping medic, Steve Harmer
Friends, hockey players, country men, lend me your eyes!

In the words of Elton John, ‘the bitch, the bitch, the bitch is back, and stone cold sober as a matter of fact!’ That’s right, Harmer’s column returns this week to bring all its loyal readers, the best in social, political and hockey commentary. Go on, admit it, you have missed me!

It seems a life time ago since the start of the hockey season, when this column brought you the highlights of our season opener against the ladies team. From which a number of the 4th team concluded that we were going to be in for one hell of a trying season. The match was hard, laboured and as ugly as the off spring conceived from a one night stand between Wayne Rooney and Kerry Katona.

Thankfully dear reader, under the leadership of our carrot topped commander, Dom ‘Ginger Nuts’ Tucker. The ‘Mighty 4th Team’ have continued their Terry’s Chocolate Orange Revolution from last season and have charged up the league during October and November quicker than Simon Cowell sucking up to Cheryl Cole! ‘As we say in the Mighty 4TH team ‘The future is bright, the future is ginger (cake)’ and we have rarely found ourselves outside of the top four.


So this week, as you can imagine the pent up frustration from last week's match focused the squad’s minds ahead of our encounter against Aldershot and Farnham (A&F). In fact at one point we had so many players, the captain had to request one or two players step down. Thankfully Bish saw the light and realised that his wife might want him around to help move house this weekend, Crumby was dying from swine flu (we all know he ate too much cake as his son’s Starwars themed party last week!) and Adam found himself moved onto a different Surrey Police shift.

Unfortunately what brought most consternation, worry and fret between those chosen few that form the Mighty 4th Team squad was the injury to the OCHC club very own David Beckham. Steve ‘Golden Balls’ Harmer was scheduled to return after two weeks out due to his sponsor’s photo shoots in the Middle East and Caribbean. Alas due to an early morning automobile related incident outside of his South West London mansion on Tuesday, said Harmer found himself with an ankle injury. Due to a UK media injunction which came into effect on Friday night, the column cannot report on the details. However we can confirm that no fire hydrant was involved, Lady Harmer was not found holding a golf club over his body and there are absolutely no naked pictures of him with any blonde Las Vegas hostesses! Even with this considerable set back the Mighty 4th team were not worried as it was confirmed that Golden Balls would be on the touchline, prowling, gesticulating and directing like ‘Don’ Fabio Capello during an England international.

As the golden generation of players that form the Mighty 4th team assembled on the hallowed astro turf at Thames Ditton. We were joined by a number of lovely and charming ladies that form the core of the OC 4th’s WAGS, with special mention to Sarah who was attending her first hockey match ever after her engagement to Atsushi. The opposition brought two jail bait CHAV’s with them who spent most of the match smoking fags in the stands. Our WAGS were delighted to meet them, just as much as when they realised that winter had finally arrived, with the wind whipping across the playing fields making us all feel colder than a penguin’s chuff!


Complementing our existing squad players this week we were joined by the mercurial talents of James ‘Armo’ Armitage, Tommy ‘Gun’ Trinder and Howard ‘The’ Duck. Just like a fine wine, we had been well rested, decanted with care and ready to be enjoyed. Well apart from Nick Aston and Jamal that had been at Christmas parties the previous night and frankly smelt like mobile Stella Artois breweries!

The first half started with the Mighty 4TH team finding their feet in a busy midfield space however with the opposition only starting with 10 players we started to take advantage. Thankfully it was not long before some excellent passing between the midfield players down the left found the ball pinged across towards the right post with Howard finding the deft touch to put the ball round the stranded keeper.
At that point the flood gates should have opened however A&F held firm and somehow managed to snuff out all of our shots on goal. Credit has to go to their keeper who was a literal brick wall blocking multiple strikes from Jamal. As our frustration grew we started to lose our structure and concentration. This resulted in many of our midfield trying to dribble rather than pass their way up the pitch and not use the natural advantage of width.

In a rare counter attack by A&F, the ball evaded our backline (probably they were freezing cold due to lack of action) and somehow the ball ended up past Big Smith in goal. He was about as impressed as Mrs Tiger Woods reading the USA tabloid press. We managed to avoid any other disasters and came in at half time at 1 -1.

Reshuffling the pack at half time found Oxo returning to midfield, Atsushi finding a home at right back, Howard moving to central midfield with Tommy Trinder providing a wise head at right half. Smeer found space on the right wing and Nick J came into his own on the left touch line. Fabio would have been proud!

The second half was a lovely example of a full press by OC’s in the A&F half with the opposition rarely getting across the half way line. In fact, Grant Archer (at centre back) was so cold (as he had nothing to do) that he was signalling to his respective WAG to hand over her gloves. This request was met with a direct rebuff and Grant spent the last 30 minutes with his hand in his pockets.

Alas whatever we did, we just could not break down the A&F defence and slot one past the keeper. However as we maintained the constant pressure cracks began to appear with the opposition using more desperate tactics to prevent shots on target. On two occasions ‘Nurse Harmer’ was summoned from the sideline with a first aid kit and a bag of ice to attend to opposition players (we hope they recover soon).

To break the deadlock the OCHC touchline team decided to mix things up by subbing off Jamal, however he had one final magic trick up his sleeve before leaving the pitch and found himself at the top of the D in front of a charging keeper with space to shoot. He unleashed a strike with such power that if the A&F keeper had the temerity to get a body part in the way, then that limb would be removed with the ease of a hot knife going through butter. Alas the keeper did and nearly killed himself (I am not joking!) only to see Jamal pushing the rebound into the net.

From then on it was one way traffic with Oxo, Smeer, Armo, Howard and Tommy taking total control and all going close. At times the passing creativity and combinations of Stefano, Oxo and Nick J down the left were simply beautiful. Smeer went close several times before Nick J found the space to unleash a Louis Strover (supporting from the sidelines) type strike that flew past the keeper catching the top of the back board with a resounding crash.

At the final whistle, we had won the game 3 – 1 against a well drilled, motivated and competitive A&F side who we look forward to playing in the New Year. We celebrated after the match by feasting on homemade ‘White Chocolate & Macadamia Nut Muffins’ by Lady Harmer and Chocolate Chip Cookie by Sarah (fiancé of Atsushi).

Muffin recipe below.

Ingredients
• 2 1/2 cups biscuit and baking mix
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 3/4 cup coarsely chopped white chocolate chips
• 1/2 cup coarsely chopped macadamia nuts
• 3/4 cup half-and-half
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1 large egg, lightly beaten

Directions
1. Combine baking mix and sugar in a large bowl; stir in chocolate and nuts. Make a well in center of mixture. Combine half-and-half and remaining 3 ingredients; add to dry ingredients, stirring just until dry ingredients are moistened.
2. Spoon into greased muffin pans, filling two-thirds full. Bake at 400° for 11 to 12 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted into center comes out clean. Remove from pans immediately
On behalf of the team, many thanks to Martin for umpiring and all those that supported on the side line Strover (and family), Tom Pollard, Rob Jonker’s, Chris Bents and our lovely WAGS Sarah, Sarah, Amy and Stephanie.
A well worked win that lifts us back to 4th in the league behind the leading pack. Next week, our last game before Christmas away at Oxted which should keep all of us away from present shopping.
So dear readers, we have come to the end of this match report, it has been emotional!
So good night beautiful people (not you Armo), may your god bless and see you in 2010!
Harmer’s Column signing off.


Tulse Hill & Dulwich 1-5 Ladies XI

Match reports December 5 2009

A wretched weekend with five defeats and only the 1st XI managing a win to keep themselves top of Surrey/Hampshire Division 2. The big disappointment came with the 2nd XI who squandered a two-goal lead with ten minutes remaining to go down 2-3 to Old Kingstonians. The Ladies' slipped down the table with a 1-2 loss to Surbiton, and there were also defeats for the 3rd, 4th and Veterans XIs

1st XI 4-1 Woking
Another win although far from our best performance with Woking proving to be a far better side than their league position suggested.

Indeed, the game could have been completely different had Trickster not saved a penalty stroke at 0 - 0 although for Woking's perseverence we did have most of the play. Profligate in front of goal we were 2 up at half time with a crisp strike from Eds at our first short corner and a rare goal from Rippers who deflected home Woody's cross after his strong run in to the 25. For the first time for a while our short corner drill looked effective and no surprise there after the practice we put in last week.

Woking fell down by by passing their midfield with the continual crash ball out of the back with our having given Woking space and although both sides continually gave the ball away we did so less dangerously than Woking and really should have had 2 more goals before half time and Woking were the first to admit that they should have had 2 strokes awarded against them, one against Gavin and another for a foul on Eds.

Our worst patch followed the restart and Woking were unlucky not to pull one back when the umpire blew too quickly with a goal bound shot at their first short of the second half with the ball finding its way into the goal, awarding another short which we cleared and to rub insult into injury adding our third a few minutes later. A break down our left saw Knapp set up Gavin who tapped home with a suspicion that the ball had gone out of play in the build up.

One must admire Woking for throwing a number of quality youngsters into this game, with Chris and Sam Way in particular looking like players to watch out for in the future.

Hunter rounded off the scoring with a fierce drag flick, Woking deservedly scoring their goal in between times, our failing to clear our lines. This was a disappointment in Trickster's last game as a clean sheet would have been a fititng way for him to sign off for the Navy but a goal that did not stop him from winning the Man of the Match award. Best of luck Trickster and keep in touch.

One more game before the break v Andover, a team that have consistently caused us problems in the past, and another must win game. David Knapp

Ladies 1-2 Surbiton
Unfortunately our run of success took a dive this weekend with defeat against Surbiton. They took an early lead while we were still sorting ourselves out. Then off a short corner Jax put a beautiful strike past the keeper drawing us level. In the second half Surbiton scored again with a great short corner. Although we were looking good and despite some good play and some great effort by all, we could not pull back to draw level ending the game one goal down. With one more game before Christmas the ladies are hoping to get back on track. Sarah Mann

Old Kingstonians 2-3 2nd XI
The build up to this game was less than ideal – we went through five different line ups in two days and as it was we then lost Bruce to food poisoning on the morning of the game. Eleven men to 6th placed OKs 13 men, and away from TD, was a tough ask. To compound matters Duffy managed to travel to the wrong ground and JP was involved in a five-car pile up just before the game.

However it was us who seized the first half. Rory scored early on, after a well worked move. We remained completely dominant for the rest of the half – dangerous in attack and very organised in defence. We zipped it round the back at will – Duffy was particularly impressive and Rory’s pace up front was what we have missed so much in the last two games. Should they have had a yellow for some deliberate breaking up of the game – probably. Should we have scored more than one goal – definitely.

However, having played probably the best hockey of the season we weren’t unduly worried at half time. Whilst we weren’t quite as dominant in the second half we scored again fairly early on in the second half. One for the press – Oks transferred it round the back but then left it by their goal and Rory ran in and pushed it in.

Possibly the turning point of the game came when yet again another very poor challenge ended with just a free hit, but Rory probably overacted and the game became unnecessarily edgy. With less than 10 minutes, and two goals clear, we completely lost our composure. Some daft mistakes, a poor challenge by Jimbo (resulting in a yellow card and a short) led to us conceding three goals (all from shorts, for the record we scored none from at least 10) and losing a game we should have won.

At the end of the season let us hope that these three points aren’t the difference... 5th placed Oxted next week. Rob Merry

3rd XI 0-2 Old Kingstonians
After five matches unbeaten we went down by two goals ... and as Nigel won't comment on any games where we don't win by at least six goals, nothing this week.

Old Reigatians 1-5 4th XI
As the 4th team slowly gathered at a cold and damp St Bedes School in Reigate it soon became evident that we were low on numbers. Unfortunately whilst managing to get 11 players there just in time for pushback, with a twelfth man / umpire still on his way, we started on a gentleman's agreement with the opposition to provide a second umpire as soon as the 12th man arrived.

After 5 minutes of play and still no sign of our twelfth man the opposition asked for us to stop play and provide an umpire from our existing team thus taking us down to 10 men... Immediately putting us on the back foot we rallied round and battled on eventually conceding a goal but valliantly gaining one back to level 1-1 at half time.

Alas our twelfth man still failed to materialise and the prospect of a full match at 10 men was sadly realised. Fitness and structure failing us Reigate, on a confidence high, put together some well worked passing exposing our defiicit in players. They continued to slot home four more goals during the second half. It has to be said that one of their goals was truely first-class (if a little lucky) screaming in to the back of our net.

Whilst a shame to lose the game, the manner of the defeat was the most dissapointing. Whilst we can not be entirely be blameless, as our heads dropped and tensions rose, the attitude and behaviour from some of the more senior members of the opposition was unfortunate - particularly as they are supposed to be mentors and role models to their clearly very able and talented youngsters. We hope next time we can all just get on with the hockey...

The high point came on the final whistle with both carrot cake from Smeer and tales from Robin Crumby of Crumby Junior's looming Star Wars-themed 7th birthday party (to be honest after losing at hockey we all fancied playing pin the X-wing on the Death Star). Grant Archer

Tunbridge Wells 8-0 Veterans
No report.