Martha Hope Khurshid

Congratulations to Dodie and Lydia Khurshid on the birth of the third child, Martha Hope, on February 26. The latest addition to the 2024 Ladies XI weighed in dead on 8lbs.

Pitch relaying starts after Easter

The order for the new astroturf carpet has been placed and work will start on it immediately after Easter and it should be ready for playing when the summer leagues kick into life at the end of May. The carpet itself will be the next one up the pecking order (Desso Trophy for those who care) and is the kind installed at Old Georgians and Bank of England. In short, in plays much more like a water-based and is faster than our existing sandpit.

We are also, at the same time, undertaking a major renovation of the drainage both on the pitch and in the surrounding area. We have had surveys to try to establish why the pitch has been subjected to flooding and it seems that when work was done to the telecom mast somebody – and we are investigating who – decided to seal the main drain with concrete. As a result, the only drainage has been via the overspill outlet and when there is heavy rain that backup and deposits water on the pitch rather than taking it away.

Pre 2007 news

Speculation over when (or even if!) the pitch at Thames Ditton would be relaid was ended when the OC Society, who own the club, agreed to carry out the work in April 2007. It is hoped that the new surface will be ready in time for the summer leagues to take place from mid May. Although discussions continue, it is hoped that the OC Society will agree to fund a superior surface as well as other improvements to the facilities of which we hope to be able to provide more information in January. In the meantime, click here for details of the type of surface we are looking to lay. (16 Dec 06)

There will be improvements carried out to the clubhouse at TD in the coming weeks. Ed and Alison Breton will be looking to relocate the main men’s toilets so that they are outside the changing-rooms and situated where the disabled facilities now are and will expanded to take some of the kitchen area. This is being done with financial assistance from the RFU. The bar area will also be altered, with the bar being reduced in length by about a third, providing more seating/standing space at the far end. We are also talking to several contractors about the drainage in the car park as this is a major factor in the regular flooding of the astroturf and the mud which blights the near corner. (11 Dec 06)

Spare a thought for Chris Porter, until last season the scourge of umpires but now a born-again good boy. Travelling to a match courtesy of Ken Livingstone’s favourite underground network, Porter was accosted at Earls Court by two of British Transport Police’s finest and ask where he was going clutching his hockey stick and kit bag. Clearly trained to sniff out Al Qaeda’s best-disguised henchmen, the two officers were not swayed by his unbelievable claim that he was “off to play hockey” and detained Porter for a good few minutes while they checked up on him (fortunately not with the Surrey Hockey Umpires Association who may have revealed that in some circumstances a stick in Porter’s hands could be deemed a dangerous weapon). Eventually, after satisfying themselves he was not out to overthrow democracy, they let him on his way with a caution and a lovely pink slip warning him about such subversive behaviour. Now, being serious, it makes you wonder not only what does constitute a weapon (a week later a man carrying a cricket ball to practice was cautioned as it constituted a threat “if he dropped it on a grandmother’s head”) and also what the entry level IQ for the British Transport Police. Several calls to ask for clarification remained unanswered, presumably because the BTP were busy arresting shoppers for carrying large bags on the underground during the Christmas period. (Dec 7, 2006)

James Armitage at a wedding ... his favourite pulling ground

Congratulations to Eds Copleston and fellow OC Louisa Bowman who both completed the New York marathon this weekend. (Nov 5 2006)

It seems that Duncan Mottram may be taking his bonding with the ladies as their coach a bit too far. An indiscreet remark from one of his charges revealed that Duncan has been playing hockey is women’s clothing this season. Yesterday he could be seen in wife Vikki’s OCHC shirt, and it seems that until last week he was also wearing her old shorts and socks. We are sure it is entirely unconnected, but Vikki did later admit that she was missing some other items from her underwear drawer. (Nov 4 2006)

A friend (yeh, right) of James Armitage has told us that the 3rd XI beefcake has been widening his social circle. Only recently recovered from the shame of his behaviour at the club captain’s wedding, he further underlined the reputation of Uppingham by pulling the bride’s sister at another function. Last week he reportedly went on a date arranged via one of those rather suspect internet sites and was so smitten that he delivered 100 red roses to the young lady’s offices the next day. Armitage was given the chance to buy this website’s silence but declined. (Nov 2 2006)

As the new season kicks off, a reminder that training has switched to Wednesday night at 8pm, much to the annoynace of Katie Stephens who after almost a decade of Will being out on Tuesdays has got her winter TV viewing sorted. All players of any sex welcome.

The question on everyone’s lips – what the hell does Tony Norris do? – has been answered with news that he has fled the UK to avoid being deported under the government’s new extradition agreement with the USA. Norris refused to reveal where he is heading for legal reasons – it’s Antigua – but he has bought a house and his delightful wife Tonya is expected to join him after leaving by private boat under cover of darkness. Norris puffed his way through his last game in April and a club spokesman said it was a sad day to lose such a great forward and his remarkable record of 11 goals in 342 appearances would be hard to replace. (July 02 2006)

It is with great sadness we have to report the death of Bob More at the age of 45. Click here for more.

Congratulations to Preton (and Mrs!) Rutt on the birth of Archie Ryder Rutt (Mar 01 2006)

The OC Ladies have been accused of many things over the years, few repeatable, but never of having a lack of passion. But when Eds Copleston, that well-known former lothario, cancelled training to allow those of his boys with girlfriends and/or wives (ie not many) to take their beloved out for a meal, there were no complaints … except from Helen Hawes, the ladies’ captain. “I hate flowers and all that,” she said, instructing her squad to be at TD on time. “Three points on Saturday is the only Valentines present I want.” And Nigel breathed a sign of relief at the £50 he saved by not having to go to the florists … (Feb 13 2006)

Bruce Davies was fined and banned by the disciplinary committee of the OCHC following his red card against Thames Valley on January 28. He was subsequently banned for 60 days by the Surrey Hockey Umpires Association, the same punishment handed out to the TV player. It was only the fourth red card handed out to a 1st XI player since the club was formed in 1928. (Jan 31 2006)

Congratulations to Christian Davies and Kathryn Thomas, who got married on December 18. Davies surprised all and sundry by remaining sober though (almost all) the day. The same, however, could not be said for his successor as 3rd XI captain. James Armitage was reported by some to have “disgraced himself”, and his behaviour must have been bad because he actually apologised. (Dec 18 2005)

Yet again Christian Davies has let the club - and himself - down. Davies passed out at the East India Club at 10pm on Friday and a stream of cabs wisely refused to take him home, before some quick thinking by his colleagues saved the day. One of them claimed to be a doctor and told a gullible driver than Davies had narcolepsy and so CD made it back to Earslfield ... unconscious as usual. (Nov 15 2006)

Another bumper month for this website which recorded 24,146 page impression in October 2005, more than 6,300 more than the previous best. The record for an individual day is 1,497 on January 10, 2005.

Congratulations to Vikki Rodney-Smith and Duncan Mottram and also to Helen Murrell and Nigel Hawes on using the summer break to get married. Nigel, after spending his last years as a single man on the touchlines watching his beloved play, immediately celebrated by taking up goalkeeping for the 3rd XI.

Congratulations to Sarah Mann for completing the London Marathon and Eds Copleston and Jax Joyce fordoing the same in the Paris Marathon on April 9. Despite bullish talk last May, Helen Murrell, Sarah Morgan and Vikki Rodney-Smith all had to withdraw because of buttock strains.

Eds Copleston has declined the opportunity to take on Studio in an end-of-season head-to-head despite insisting that his relegated 1st XI side would have “thrashed” Billy Smart’s five-titles-in-six-years team. Copleston, who claimed pressure of work as the reason for his inability to play the game, denied he was “chicken”. Club officials refused to be drawn but odds of 1-2 were available on Studio, with the 1st XI at 6-1.

Congratulations are in order to Sarah Morgan and Jeremy Usher who got engaged whilst skiing in France and also to Sarah Mann and Tristan who did the same (engaged, not went skiing) just before Christmas.

The website continues to go from strength to strength, and in January it served more page impressions that ever - 17,779 pages, beating the previous record of 17,545 in October 2004. In the coming weeks it is hoped that galleries from previous seasons will be made available as well as team photos, copies of all of which will be available to buy. One thing the traffic figures do reveal is what people coming to the site have been searching for … the answers are quite revealing! Nine people came to us having searched for hockey sucks, the same number who searched for Stuart Sleeman (presumed to be former clients of 'the judge' looking him up for old time's sake … six searched for Jock strap and were slightly bemused to end up gazing at pictures of Jock Vickers, the same number looked up David Knapp and, bizarrely, ladies wrestling … registering one search were diverse subjects such as Christian Davies love god (seriously!) and famous hockey players wives. It's a sick world out there …

Eds Copleston is again in marathon mood and will be taking part in the Paris Marathon on April 10 to raise money to help with relief for tsunami victims. If you see him, offer to sponsor him. It is not confirmed who will be running the London Marathon from within the club, although Abeed Janmohamed has been undertaking full training for the event in support of his grilfriend who is participating.

On the subject of Abeed, some of you might not know that he played cricket for Kenya in November in the ICC Intercontinental Cup, a first-class tournament for countires just below Test level.

To the dismay of most of the Ladies squad, the club's Most Eligible Batchelor has got spliced

At last, the news most people thought would never happen. Christian Davies took the plunge last Thursday during a romantic discussion on curtains ... so astounded was Kathryn that she continued discussing drapes until she realised that this was a rare Davies serious moment, and an even rarer serious-and-sober one. Kathryn got some revenge by answering the kneeling Davies with a blunt "Why should I?" and keeping him sweating for another 10 minutes. A close family friend said: "Most couples only have to worry about their partners when they hit 70 as they might start drooling and wetting themselves. Poor Kathryn gets that every week now ...!" Davies responded to polite enquiries as to the date of the wedding with a terse "No comment" but it is known that he has negotiated a 50% discount on booking TD for the reception. The news leaves Eds Copleston exposed as the club's most eligible batchelor.

Congratulations to Abeed Janmohamed on his recent cricketing appearance for Kenya in the ICC's Intercontinental Cup. Sadly, the Kenyans returned Abeed with various broken fingers and a new-found reluctance to drink alcohol or stay out late. It is hoped this ridiculous professional attitude will soon wear off.

Stung by recent claims that this website is sexist, we are pleased to print the first in series entitled "Pin-Ups For The Ladies". James Armitage is available for hire, as is his running vest which he assures us will be seen in April's London Marathon.

vspace=2 width=150 alt="" border=0> Mr November

Congratulations to Jackie Joyce for finishing the New York Marathon on November 7 in 4 hours 58:18, 23,233 places behind Paula Radcliffe but a much more memorable effort.

This website recorded 17,545 page impressions in October, the highest ever, beating the previous best of 15,312 in September. The 1,091 pages accessed on October 4 was also a one-day record. Now, if any rich, kindly soul would like to sponsor the site, then it won't cost too much and might allow us to add a few more features.

Less than a month after announcing a zero tolerance approach to poor on-field conduct, the man behind the initiative, club captain Christian Davies has become its first victim. Davies was slapped with a two-match ban afterundercutting a ball at a lady during a Mixed match. When one of her team-mates remonstrated, Davies invited him to "come on and have a go". Eds Copleston said that he had "never seen anything so disgusting on a pitch" in his life. Davies was unavailable for comment.

The committee are pleased to announce that subscriptions for the 2004-05 season will remain unaltered, the six successive year that we have kept them at the same level. They are as follows:-


Full - £105


Under 25/Unemployed - £60


Student - £40

These are due by October 31. A few people have been uncooperative with paying and caused those collecting subs problems, which is annoying but all the more so given that our fees are about the lowest in the area. So, subs for anyone not paying by October 31 will increase by £20; if they are still outstanding after November 30 they will go up by another £15. If there are mitigating reasons why you cannot pay, please speak to your team captain. Bertie Bance is in charge of collecting this year, and while he might look placid, he’s a beast under the surface. You have been warned.

The committee has decided that Prague will be the destination for next spring’s tour, probably over the weekend of April 11/12. That’s not Easter but, as Christian Davies so eloquently argued, “the lager’s cheap”. The cost will be around £200 and we will set up a standing-order payment system in the coming month. Details to follow shortly.

The decision has been made to starta Ladies 2nd XI with three games planned before Christmas. Full details to follow, but if you have a girlfriend or wife (or daughter in the case of Vets) who would like to play, please let Helen know.

Spurred on by the sight of so many men in shorts back in APril, Sarah Morgan, Helen Murrell and Vikki Rodney-Smith (although she subsequently denied it) volunteered to run in the 2005 Marathon. However, over the summer the grim reality hit home. Helen went for a run and pulled a muscle, Vikki went on holiday, and Sarah went on a bender. Several men are believed to be in training but names won't be revealed quite yet.

vspace=2 width=300 alt="" border=0> Will they be smiling in 12 months?

Congratulations to all who completed the London Marathon. James Armitage was the leading man, finishing in four hours 45 minutes, with Charli the leading lady just three minutes behind. Simon Mann is reported to have finished but was last seen near Greenwich being overtaken by a man dressed in a deep-sea diver's outfit.

It's spring and there's romance in the air. First, Vikki Rodney-Smith went the way of all Ladies' captains and found hereself getting hitched to a fellow OCHC player, in this instance Duncan 'Dunky' Mottram. The 2nd XI wizard proposed on top of a glacier during one of the couple's frequent skiing trips. The wedding is set for September 2005 and will not interfere with either's hockey commitments. Then, days later, Mr Tangoman himself, Nick Read had, what he described as his "perfect day" and is set for a December wedding.

It is with great sadness that we have to report that Tony Blake died on March 28, aged 62. Tony was well known to several generations of OCs and was a regular member of the Veterans side until he moved to East Sussex after getting remarried two or three years ago. Aside from his on-field activities, Tony was a wonderfully efficient fixtures secretary in the days before that role was made easy by endless league matches. He never failed to get sides opposition, however late in the day the request came, and was never daunted, greeting each telephone call asking him to arrange a game with good humour. There were some who suspected his revenge came with matches against massively strong opposition for repeat miscreants - he would greet the news that the 5th XI had gone down 11-0 to East Grinstead 2nd XI with a wry smile and a "oh ... a bit strong were they?". Our condolences go to Tony's family.

Nick Read beat David Knapp in the much-hyped Battle of the Ages at TD on Saturday (February 28). Read, whose training was clearly limited to extensive sessions at the local tanning centre, insisted on some late rule changes and so the distance was reduced from 120 yards to about 50 (click here for full report and quotes).

Jonny Briggs continues to pack more entertainment into a half-season than most of us would manage in a career. The Studio are pleased to bring you The Jonny Briggs Guide to Getting to the Game; Thursday - decide the train is best option and arrange lift with team-mate from station to pitch (approx. 100 yards). Saturday am - wake-up, decide to abandon previous travel plan and drive instead. No need to tell anyone. Fire up Briggs-mobile and drive to Oxshott, Surrey. Strange absence of astros in Oxshott, Surrey so consult directions - discover game is actually in Oxted, near Kent. Drive (v. fast) to Oxted, near Kent ensuring mobile turned off at all times in case team-mate decides to call after waiting 15 mins at train station to find out where the f**k I am. Arrive at pitch on time, but surprised to be greeted as "Briggs, you w**nker" by team-mate who is clearly incapable of telepathic communication.

No sooner was he back than he's gone. Andy Ainsley, who returned to action shortly before Christmas, will miss the remainder of the season after an altercation in Portsmouth. He told us that "my season is over courtesy of a big right hand haymaker last Sunday night (Dec 28). I got given a smack in the jaw by some lower-class yobo moron and have sustained a triple fracture of my jaw. Surgery was required and I now have three metal plates, 16 screws and a piece of wire holding my face together. The forecast is for the plates to remain in forever and four of the screws to come out in about eight weeks, but until then I'm off hockey and as you might know after that I'm off to sea for a month anyway. So, best of luck for the remainder of the season, keep displaying the same team spirit I've seen since my return and keep on winning. Once the swelling goes down I will try and get to some of the games but I can't open my eyes very much at the moment so driving is out of the question. I would give you all a resounding "Eat It !!" but since my diet for the next couple of months is based around baby food it may be a little inappropriate."

We are sad to report the death of David Phelps shortly before Chrsitmas. Roger Loveland writes: "David was a boisterous right winger who played for OCHC 1st & 2nd X1s during the 1950s & 60s. He was quick and had a ferocious shot. I recall him almostbreaking the crossbar at Tunbridge Wells. David was also Hon Treasurer of the OC Club from 1968-1973."

Briggsy - where the f**k are you? The words of Studio skipper Billy Smart trying to raise a full team. Former Studio stalwart, Jonny Briggs - famed for his turn of speed and legendary reverse stick skills - has performed a disappearing act of Lord Lucan proportions this season. Rumours that he is "loved up" were quickly dismissed by those who know him. However, some believe he is currently living as a hermit somewhere off the West Coast of Scotland, unable to face society after a series of horrendous misses during the 2002/03 season. Others believe he is at a secret location somewhere in the South-East having his radar re-calibrated prior to a return to action in the New Year.Wherever you are Briggsy, at this time of seasonal goodwill the Studio would like to wish you a speedy recovery - just hurry up will you.

The baby boom continues. On Tuesday (Dec 16) Snoopy and Mark Hamms had a baby boy - Lucas (7lbs 5oz) - and less than 24 hours later Dodie and Lydia Khurshid followed up with a second of their own - Harry Benjamin (6lb 5oz) and four weeks early. Congratulations to both sets of parents

Our new Australian import, Rob Betts was praised by coach Ed Breton for taking one of the Ladies side for one-on-one coaching on Tuesday despite training being cancelled. "You're fishing and you've caught nothing," muttered Betts.

Eds Copleston, the 1st XI captain, is reported to be on the verge of quitting to concentrate on his burgeoning career as a coach - of ladies netball. Copleston had been hoping to keep his appointment as coach of the new OC Ladies Netball side quiet, but when confronted admitted that it posed "new challenges" and was a sport in which he felt he actually could make a valid contribution unlike hockey and cricket. He is believed to have written a training document for the ladies and this will be published here as soon as possible.

Knowing Steve Harmer can be a dangerous thing. Short of players an hour or so before the start, he dragged flatmate Grant Archer out of the house into the pouring rain with a killer hangover to play mixed hockey. During the game he got a ball directly on the index finger on his left hand. After two hours in A&E the NHS's finest diagnosed a broken finger. Harmer sat waiting and "expected him to have a small splint and strapping ... however I burst into laughter when he emerged with his left arm in plaster from fingers to elbow!".

Congratulations to Viv Pyne and Neil Robertson Ravo on recent births.

Earlier news stories


All January's match reports (Jan 2004)


All December's match reports (Dec 2003)


Captains lead drinking binges (8 Dec 2003)


All November's match reports (Nov 2003)


A fond farewell to Trevor (15 Oct 2003)


2003-04 rule changes (28 Sep 2003)


Hundreds enjoy sun-soaked Club Day (20 Sep 2003)


Eds Copleston - The world is not enough (15 Aug 2003)


The season that refused to die (12 Apr 2003)


Ladies win the league (5 Apr 2003)


Roll on the end of the season (29 Mar 2003)


Strover finds touch (22 Mar 2003)


Hope springs eternal (15 Mar 2003)


The Coccyx Kid's back in town (8 Mar 2003)


Ten-Man Team Triumph in TD Thriller (1 Mar 2003)


Black Saturday (22 Feb 2003)


Let's gloss over this one (15 Feb 2003)


A topsy turvy affair (8 Feb 2003)


The wrong kind of snow (1 Feb 2003)


Ian Tabor and the massif ribbed dildo (25 Jan 2003)


Mill Hill Mob on the Money in Thames Ditton thriller (18 Jan 2003)


Rudolph sighted at TD (14 Dec 2002)


Quick chases man on tractor (7 Dec 2002)


Mottram strike earns 2nd their first win (30 Nov 2002)


At least we won the rugby (23 Nov 2002)


A job for Labour's finest (17 Nov 2002)


Barr breaks the duck (10 Nov 2002)


What goes up ... (3 Nov 2002)


Ladies on top (27 Oct 2002)


It ain't easy (20 Oct 2002)


Looking better (13 Oct 2002)


Not the best of starts (6 Oct 2002)


Mixed success for the drunkards (28 Sep 2002)


Players flock to TD, in summer transfer spending spree (12 Sep 2002)


Tabor steps into the breach (27 Jul 2002)


Minutes of the AGM (20 Jun 2002)


Clubs vote to bail out EHA (2 May 2002)


Stephens steps down as captain (2 May 2002)


Studio's double success (24 Mar 2002)


Ladies secure promotion ... again (17 Mar 2002)


The great escape almost completed (9 Mar 2002)


A miracle in KT10 (2 Mar 2002)


Tango Man strikes again (24 Feb 2002)


Clubs in crisis as loss-making EHA prepare for 'Draconian measures' (23 Feb 2002)


Reado not a waste of time - it's official (17 Feb 2002)


Only Studio lift the gloom (10 Feb 2002)


A win for the 1st XI (3 Feb 2002)


Always look on the bright side ... (27 Jan 2002)


Janmohamed hat-trick inspires win (20 Jan 2002)


Running out of time (12 Jan 2002)


Who ate all the pies? (11 Jan 2002)


Whiteout (15/22 Dec 2001)


Christmas comes early (9 Dec 2001)


Davies' turn to get that winning feeling (1 Dec 2001)


3rd XI break the duck (25 Nov 2001)


Can we have a win please? (18 Nov 2001)


Can we fix it? We hope we can (11 Nov 2001)


A mixed bag (5 Nov 2001)


Ladies Mann (28 Oct 2001)


Be afraid - Trevett's back (20 Oct 2001)


A mixed bag (14 Oct 2001)


Knapp back to restore order (8 Oct 2001)


Knapp calls it a day (15 Sep 2001)


All the thrills of the AGM (6 Jul 2001)


3rd XI handed relegation reprieve (12 Jun 2001)


Gumshield set to be best-seller (20 Mar 2001)