Surbiton and the art of losing gracefully

As regular readers of this site will know, we are happy to dish out individual reporters/players colourful views on other sides and clubs in match reports and part and parcel of that is we have to take it in reverse. Hopefully this does not cross lines, but in the heat of battle occasionally it does. More often than not, the abuse is aimed at our own players!

So we are not upset by the opposition's report of the Ladies 1-0 win over previously unbeaten Surbiton, rather we look at it with mild amusement. We can fully appreciate why “EC” – presumably Emily Craig? – was cheesed off with losing to us. But perhaps the charming Ms (surely it has to be) Craig overstepped the line?

“I detest Old Cranleighans to the extent that I now experience a physical reaction of loathing whenever I think about them … Suffice to say, we will destroy OCs next time we encounter them. As in pulp them. Puree them. Write their obituary. You get the idea.”

The fragrant Ms Craig also shows her deep knowledge of the game by claiming we “scored a lucky goal against the run of play and only made a few forays into our 25. In fact, there is very little point talking about OCs and their role as our opposition.” She then named one of Surbiton’s defenders “who had a stormer” as one of her joint Players of the Match. Presumably the defender played up front given the OCs so rarely attacked?

The shame is as a club we have always had a good relationship with Surbiton dating back to our first fixture in 1928 and one report from this lady will not alter that.

We can only wonder what triggered Ms Craig's psychological hang ups? A blind date with Jock perhaps?

Anyhow, hopefully the delightful Ms Craig will manage to suppress the feelings of nausea she says are her reaction whenever we are mentioned and will be around for the return leg to see what a welcoming and cuddly club we really are.